One thing I’ve been noticing lately is that people that screw up their lives royally and then manage to come back from it get a lot more respect than people who never screwed their lives up at all. Let’s see which of these stories will end up as a Lifetime movie… Story #1: A 9…
The 4th of July is coming up next week. That wonderful day off full of hot dogs, beer, fireworks, sunburns, squabbles over how done the steaks should be, and people trying to remember the words to the The Star Spangled Banner. Oh-oh say can you see, hmm hmm hm hm hm hm… In 1776, Thomas…
Here’s the latest version of Phil’s Fast 15, my weekly Monday night live stream concert. Join me every Monday at 8pm PST at Ustream to catch it live! This episode features the songs “Do It Again”, “Get Any” and “Nobody Knows You When You’re Down And Out”.
I was in the library the other day and during a stop in the restroom I noticed that sign. “Please don’t put any paper in the urinal.” As with any sign, it means enough people actually did it that they had to put a sign up. Just in case you thought people that frequent libraries…
Here’s last night’s Episode 3 (Revenge of the Phil) of Phil’s Fast 15. This episode includes the songs “Share My Pixie Dust”, “LCW”, and “Way Down Yonder In New Orleans”. Better lighting than last week since I remembered to turn the lights on. 🙂 The video is less jerky, but still fuzzy. Getting it worked…
Awhile back I was doing shows in South Dakota. I didn’t get a chance to see Mt. Rushmore, but I found something way… way… better. I always love to find quirky little attractions that I can’t do anywhere else. 1880 Cowboy Town in Buffalo Ridge, SD definitely hits both those qualifications. I love a concept…
I was reading recently about a mentally challenged child. He’s only two year old but already exhibiting aggressiveness issues of control and greed. And I really feel sorry for the kid because he’s going to grow up to be a politician. I’ve been reading candidate statements for the upcoming primary elections and I’m always astounded…
This happened at one of my shows recently. A lady comes to my merchandise table outside the showroom while the other comic is on stage. She hands me a $10 bill and said she wants a CD. Then she tells me that her husband doesn’t want her to spend the money. So if he asks…
One of the major problems with having so much media at our fingertips constantly is that those media outlets have to often really stretch to find something worthwhile to talk about. There really isn’t THAT much going on in the world. So media outlets will usually opt for fear mongering of some sort to earn…
So, it’s Good Friday, the day Jesus died. What’s good about it, I have no idea. If I were dragged through the streets then hung from a cross, that’s gotta be the definition of a bad day. I won’t say it’s THE bad day. My internet was out for a whole day once last year…
It seems like every day there’s some new political scandal. Some guy mismanaged funds. Another guy waggled his willy at an intern. It’s tempting to think that the world is just going downhill and politicians are getting worse all the time. Not true… Here’s a few tidbits of political intrigue and scandal from long before…
The first show of my Comedy Lab series in Santa Clara, CA is coming up on Saturday March 10th. If you’re in the area, make sure to come by for a great evening of comedy and music. The purpose of the show is to give performers and place to try material and performance styles they…
Ah, it’s that wonderful time of year when the Xmas garland crosses paths with the heart-shaped boxes of chocolate. And, of course, time for my girlfriend’s favorite maneuver, “Let’s not do gifts this year. You can just get me some flowers and take me out to dinner and we’ll call it a day.” Uh, alrighty…
I saw a trailer for a new movie recently. It takes place in Atlantic City in the 1920’s. Four wealthy real estate magnates are each trying to undercut the other’s business while raising the cost of living to obscene amounts that force the city’s poor deeper into debt. One of the men drives a big…
There are two stories about who discovered the coffee bean and its effects. The first I learned this past weekend at an exhibit about early technology in the Islamic world. In the 9th century, an Ethiopian goat and sheep herder ( ya herd?) named Kaldi discovered that when his animals ate the beans they were…
Realized I hadn’t posted a new video in a little bit, so this is a clip from one of my DVDs, “Be Yourself…Unless You’re An Idiot”. When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time (over 18 years for me any my girl) you have to work at keeping things spicy and interesting in…
Google recently started making it so you have to register a Google Plus profile if you want to use any of their other services. They’ve also started pushing Google Plus shared items to the top of search results which forces the hand of anyone involved in search marketing to have a large circle of Plus…
When I was a kid at Disneyland, I would see people wearing all their mouse ears and goofy hats. And I’d think, wouldn’t it be great if the regular world were open and creative enough to let people wear weird hats on a daily basis. And recently I see this guy wearing a knit panda…
I was flying out one time to do a gig and I was at the airport checking my luggage with the porter outside. I got to the front of the line and the porter was a black guy. He looked at me and said, “Don’t hurt me now!” Being that he was a pretty big…
I got a spam email for some penis enlargement pills the other day. And the subject line said “Don’t be alarmed when it doesn’t stop growing.” I think it’s safe to say that I would be awfully damned alarmed if it didn’t stop growing. You CAN have too much of a good thing. Ladies, if…
I’ve talked in my show about the fact that I don’t smoke weed. But, due to my appearance, I look like I’m a lot more savvy than I actually am. That has led to some awkward conversations… Him: So where are you from? Me: The San Francisco Bay Area Him: Oh yeah? I’m moving there…
I’m going to be MIA online until Jan 2nd. Time to wrap up the year with some eating, some reflecting, some writing, some planning, some more eating, and some relaxation. It’s been a great year and I have you to thank for it. Lots of great new stuff coming up in 2012 and I look…
Objectification of Women Objectification of Men
There’s a life strategy that works very well for getting out of something you don’t want to do. Do it badly. You’ll never be asked or expected to do it again. Unfortunately, my girlfriend has already figured this out and it doesn’t work for me that well anymore. Hence, I’m still mowing the lawn. But…
