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    Vagina Cupcakes…

    ByPhil Johnson August 5, 2011August 5, 2011

    Nope, it’s the not the name of the latest riot-grrrl band… It’s an actual cupcake made by Chaos Bakery. I have a neighborhood potluck picnic coming up.  I would give anything to be able to bring a box of these.  And never say anything about them. She says it doesn’t matter what flavor cupcake you…

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  • Humor | Road Stories

    My Classys and Sassy Fans…

    ByPhil Johnson August 3, 2011August 3, 2011

    I’ve had this picture sitting on my computer for awhile and keep forgetting to post it.  Ya gotta love it… By they way, that’s the club owner’s mom. 🙂  If you’re ever in Dublin, CA, stop by Bunjo’s Comedy Lounge and say hi to Isabel.  Speaking of which, I’ll be headlining there this Saturday the…

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  • Humor | Recipes | Road Stories

    Ha-why-an Food?

    ByPhil Johnson July 29, 2011June 16, 2012

    I recently got back from my first trip to Hawaii.  My girlfriend and love to eat on any trip, though we’re not really foodies.  We’re too cheap to be real foodies.  But we do enjoy checking out the local cuisine. She asked her more Hawaii-experienced friends what we should eat while there.  They said, “Ooh,…

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  • Humor | Short Stories

    Steve’s Discount Exorcisms

    ByPhil Johnson July 26, 2011July 26, 2011

    It’s story time kids!… Sometimes I feel just like a gerbil, running around and around on his wheel.  It just never stops, does it?  here I am sitting down to have a steamy bowl of jambalaya and the damn phone rings again.  “Hello?” I say.  “Alright yeah, I’ll be there in 15 minutes.  No, she’s…

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  • Humor

    7 Innocent Words That Turn Women On

    ByPhil Johnson July 19, 2011May 6, 2016

    I was surfing last night (yes, on a perfectly legitimate site), and there was this ad for “7 Innocent Words That Turn Women On”.  “Well,” I thought to myself, “In the interests of science and psychology, I should check this out.” They claim you can use a few normal little words in a perfectly innocent…

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  • Disney Stuff

    10 Weirdest/Coolest Disney Cover Songs

    ByPhil Johnson July 13, 2011November 8, 2013

    There is a thin line between really cool and “oh my god, did that just really happen?”  After finding the number 1 video on this list the other day, I decided to go hunting for some other weird/cool/bizarre/awesome Disney cover songs.  Let the madness begin… 10. From SaJ Production comes this cover of “Part Of…

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  • Humor

    Wherefore art thou Popcorn Time Lady?

    ByPhil Johnson July 5, 2011May 27, 2012

    I sometimes think about her.  The robotic voice on the other end of 767-2676.  She was the first person everyone would call after a power outage, because she knew what time it was.  And not in a “Morris Day” kind of way. As a kid, the popcorn lady was always a safe phone call you…

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  • Humor | Theories On Life

    Why I Don’t Have A Real Job

    ByPhil Johnson July 1, 2011August 10, 2016

    I don’t envy the people that have to go through the job interview process.  They always seem to demand more acting skill than any audition I’ve ever been on. I never really went through a real interview process like most people do.  For one job, working at a Montgomery Ward, painting the place, my interview…

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  • Recipes

    Balsamic Cinnaigrette Dressing Recipe

    ByPhil Johnson June 28, 2011June 28, 2011

    It’s been awhile since I posted a new recipe.  This is one I’ve been playing with on my daily lunch salad.  I’d been reading that cinnamon is good for you, but I don’t really eat anything regularly that would include it.  So I came up with this dressing. Balsamic Cinnaigrette Dressing Makes 2 Servings (unless…

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  • Disney Stuff

    Could Cars 2 Be Pixar’s First Goof?

    ByPhil Johnson June 24, 2011June 26, 2011

    Like many other Disney/Pixar nerds, I’ll be seeing Cars 2 this weekend.  The reviews are starting to come out and they’re mixed. Reviewers seem to be surprised that Mater is taking a central role in this one.  Not sure why.  We’ve been told that since they first started talking about the movie years ago.  And…

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  • Humor

    Simon Says – Playground Legend Exposed!

    ByPhil Johnson June 21, 2011June 21, 2011

    Yahoo Games recently did an article about the origins of Simon Says.  My god, how it must be nice to have a paid journalism (?) job where you don’t have to deal with all the pesky news and current events stuff.  Anyway, the article is at http://blog.games.yahoo.com/blog/775-simon-who-the-story-behind-a-playground-favorite Apparently, Simon used to be Cicero, the famous…

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  • Humor | Videos

    Eric Schwartz and an Essential Music Question

    ByPhil Johnson June 17, 2011June 17, 2011

    I’ve worked with Eric Schwartz many times.  This would be the Eric Schwartz with hair that sings instead of raps.  The other one is good too. 🙂 Anyway, this Eric Schwartz has a fantastic song about a thing that many singers are thinking at some point during the show.  And the brilliant thing is that…

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  • Entertainment Business

    Seth Godin on the Free-Gap

    ByPhil Johnson June 15, 2011June 16, 2011

    Seth Godin wrote a blog recently about the game-theory of discovery and the free-gap.  It’s an interesting thought from the man who coined the term “idea virus”. Like he says, “free” isn’t new and isn’t going away.  But the distance between those who get things for free and those that pay for them is getting…

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  • Humor

    My Street, The Melting Pot

    ByPhil Johnson June 14, 2011June 14, 2011

    We have a neighbor we call Creepy Indian Guy.  Not because he’s Indian.  It’s because he’s creepy.  He’s a starer.  He spends a good part of the day hanging out in front of his house just staring at whatever apparently needs staring at.  Like a super hero with laser eye powers that are on the…

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  • Humor

    Legal Weed Compares To The Civil Rights Movement?

    ByPhil Johnson June 7, 2011June 7, 2011

    I’m in the midst of reading Cannabiz, a book about the new legitimate marijuana industry and the battle for legalization. Now make no mistake, I’m in favor of full legalization of weed, mostly because I believe in Darwinism.  People dumbing themselves down makes for less competition for the rest of us.  And since they’re going…

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  • Entertainment Business | Theories On Life

    Tame Religion Joke Costs Punk Band $13,000

    ByPhil Johnson May 31, 2011May 31, 2011

    Dave Hooper over at MusicMarketing.com posted today about the Canadian band Living With Lion’s recent go around with the the Canadian government run FACTOR organization that fund and supports Canada’s music artists.  A fantastic thing unto itself.  Sort of like our NEA, but without the snob appeal. Anyway, LWL’s new album is called “Holy Shit”…

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  • Theories On Life

    The End Of Magic?

    ByPhil Johnson May 20, 2011May 20, 2011

    Once again, Seth Godin has put into words something that rattled around my brain but wouldn’t join into full sentences.  His blog post, An End Of Magic, starts with Arthur C. Clarke’s famous quote that “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” And Seth goes on to say that we know it’s all possible…

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  • Books | Theories On Life

    Personal Finance Resources That Have Helped Me

    ByPhil Johnson May 17, 2011May 17, 2011

    I don’t think it’s any secret that working as a performing artist is not the instant way to riches.  And if that is a secret to you, now you know why music and other types of artists prefer you buy their work instead of downloading it for free. 🙂 Most performers I know are debt…

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  • Theories On Life

    Baby Helmets to Avoid The Dangers of Sleep

    ByPhil Johnson May 10, 2011May 10, 2011

    I was recently exposed to the idea of baby helmets.  My first response was “WHAAAT!”  Of course, there are different kinds of baby helmets.  If you’re taking the kid on the back of your bike for a ride, definitely strap them up. Then I saw Thudguard… Holy Overprotective Parent Batman.  Tell me something… Did you…

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  • Humor | Road Stories | Theories On Life | Uncategorized

    The Zen of Passive Aggressive Contrarianism

    ByPhil Johnson May 7, 2011May 7, 2011

    So, I’m driving down a two-lane highway, going the speed limit-ish because I’ve got two out of state tickets on my record and my insurance is through the roof.  I’m in the left lane because I’m going faster than all the semi’s in the right lane. Rolling up behind me is a dude in a…

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  • Humor

    Eat Like Your Ancestors, Die Like Your Ancestors

    ByPhil Johnson May 3, 2011May 3, 2011

    There’s been a movement in the diet industry lately about “eat like our ancestors did.”  The Paleo Diet is one, but I’ve seen it mentioned in other diet plans too. Umm… Those old cave men lived to about the age of 25.  I’d have been dead before I got out of college. Which is kind…

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  • Humor

    Oil in Canada? Uh-oh…

    ByPhil Johnson April 22, 2011April 25, 2011

    I was reading the other day about the Athabasca oil sands in Alberta, Canada.  Yup, Canada has oil.  Oil that, shock and surprise, we’d like to have.  And while they’re mining the oil and there’s a whole industry around it, I don’t think it’s really shown up on the radar of the average American yet….

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  • Humor

    Easter Explanations and Zombie Jesus

    ByPhil Johnson April 19, 2011April 19, 2011

    Well, it’s Easter time again. According to this Yahoo article today the Last Supper actually took place a day earlier than previously thought.  Wednesday instead of Thursday.  All this confusion could have been avoided if Jesus had just left his Day Planner behind in the grave he rose from. The difference in opinion seems to…

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  • Theories On Life | Uncategorized

    The only miracle about this water is that it empties your bank account

    ByPhil Johnson April 12, 2011April 12, 2011

    There are two things that really rile me up… Seeing people waster their money on stupid things and religious idiots that take advantage of people.  And here’s a guy that nailed the double header on that one, which makes him A#1 on my list of people I’d like to see bludgeoned with their own severed…

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