One of the most common questions I get as a performer is how I’m able to manage to get up in front of a room full of people and talk, sing, and play guitar for an hour without dying of anxiety. It’s been a long-held belief that people fear public speaking more than even death…
Ah, it’s that wonderful time of year when the Xmas garland crosses paths with the heart-shaped boxes of chocolate. And, of course, time for my girlfriend’s favorite maneuver, “Let’s not do gifts this year. You can just get me some flowers and take me out to dinner and we’ll call it a day.” Uh, alrighty…
Something happened a few years ago that taught me a little lesson about perception. I was at a music convention in Los Angeles. It’s one I’d been to many times before and I knew most of the artists there well. Next door to our convention was some other meeting thing that looked way less interesting. …
I saw a trailer for a new movie recently. It takes place in Atlantic City in the 1920’s. Four wealthy real estate magnates are each trying to undercut the other’s business while raising the cost of living to obscene amounts that force the city’s poor deeper into debt. One of the men drives a big…
At about 2am, I bolted awake flailing about as hard as I could, unable to feel or move my arms. Apparently I had just slept on them wrong and they went to sleep, as the feeling came back within about 20 seconds. And ooh did it come back. Spent the next five minutes breathing heavy…
There are two stories about who discovered the coffee bean and its effects. The first I learned this past weekend at an exhibit about early technology in the Islamic world. In the 9th century, an Ethiopian goat and sheep herder ( ya herd?) named Kaldi discovered that when his animals ate the beans they were…
Realized I hadn’t posted a new video in a little bit, so this is a clip from one of my DVDs, “Be Yourself…Unless You’re An Idiot”. When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time (over 18 years for me any my girl) you have to work at keeping things spicy and interesting in…
Google recently started making it so you have to register a Google Plus profile if you want to use any of their other services. They’ve also started pushing Google Plus shared items to the top of search results which forces the hand of anyone involved in search marketing to have a large circle of Plus…
When I was a kid at Disneyland, I would see people wearing all their mouse ears and goofy hats. And I’d think, wouldn’t it be great if the regular world were open and creative enough to let people wear weird hats on a daily basis. And recently I see this guy wearing a knit panda…
Apparently there is discussion afoot of eliminating the “leap second”. That’s an extra second added to the clock once every year or two to accommodate the Earth’s bit of wobble. The next one is due June 30th. I will be throwing a leap second party at my house where I will invite guests in for…
We hear a lot about “extremists” in other countries. But we have extremism here in America too. And I don’t mean the “we don’t need to learn how to land it” type extremists. Maybe call them “Capitalist Extremists”. I walked into Burger King and ordered a whopper. The lady asks me if I want to…
I was flying out one time to do a gig and I was at the airport checking my luggage with the porter outside. I got to the front of the line and the porter was a black guy. He looked at me and said, “Don’t hurt me now!” Being that he was a pretty big…
I got a spam email for some penis enlargement pills the other day. And the subject line said “Don’t be alarmed when it doesn’t stop growing.” I think it’s safe to say that I would be awfully damned alarmed if it didn’t stop growing. You CAN have too much of a good thing. Ladies, if…
I’ve talked in my show about the fact that I don’t smoke weed. But, due to my appearance, I look like I’m a lot more savvy than I actually am. That has led to some awkward conversations… Him: So where are you from? Me: The San Francisco Bay Area Him: Oh yeah? I’m moving there…
I’m going to be MIA online until Jan 2nd. Time to wrap up the year with some eating, some reflecting, some writing, some planning, some more eating, and some relaxation. It’s been a great year and I have you to thank for it. Lots of great new stuff coming up in 2012 and I look…
Objectification of Women Objectification of Men
There’s a life strategy that works very well for getting out of something you don’t want to do. Do it badly. You’ll never be asked or expected to do it again. Unfortunately, my girlfriend has already figured this out and it doesn’t work for me that well anymore. Hence, I’m still mowing the lawn. But…
I’m sure you have gotten a zillion emails about holiday sales. Black-this, Cyber-that. I’m a contrarian by nature, so I thought I’d try something different: Giving away large quantities of stuff for the holidays. 🙂 So starting today thru 12/24, you can gift one of my albums to anyone you’d like for no money. AND you…
Every December all the media talking heads start putting out their lists of the bests and worsts of the last year. I decided to try something different and look into the future. Today is December 9th, 2011. Let’s get to the soothsayin’ and see how right I am a year from now… Probably not very,…
In the toughest real estate search ever known, NASA has finally found a new planet that resembles Earth. It’s only 600 light years away, so you can pack light. Mostly because you’ll be dead before you get there. That really makes the trip seem shorter. They say the temperature averages 72 degrees. Just like Southern…
A few days ago I started writing about the songs that I use as a swipe file for my own songs. Someone once said, “Blatant rip-offs are the sincerest form of flattery.” Or something like that. 😉 I was never good at copying other people’s work anyway. It’s why I was never in a cover…
Every songwriter has a list like this. It’s hearing a song that makes us go “Damn! Why didn’t I think of that?!” that makes us continue to write, always looking for the holy grail of songs. Or the next holy grail anyway. Once difference between just liking a song and being influenced by a song…
At the first Thanksgiving, the pilgrims had a cozy little dinner party with the native Americans. A people they were about to do battle with over the next few hundred years. Not unlike your own Thanksgiving dinner when you sit down with that aunt of yours that makes snarky comments about your weight when you…
Group 99: We’re pissed off and we’re not going to take it anymore! Group 1: And what are you going to do about it? Group 99: We’re going to go camping! Group 1: Alrighty then… You’ll need some camping gear, won’t ya? There’s a Walmart right over there than can set you up. Group 99:…
