Especially towards the end of the year, money can be tight. Gotta buy gifts for all those ingrates, right? So here’s some of my best money-saving tips to help shore up your finances. 1. Replace that expensive home alarm system with a loud audio recording of Samuel L. Jackson yelling, “I WILL KILL A MUTHAFUCKA!”…
There are a lot of printed materials that the internet has put an end to. Many of them I will miss when they’re gone, like books, magazines, or bar posters featuring beer girls. But I won’t be sad to see the greeting card industry take a dive. A greeting card is nothing but a piece…
I was listening to the Music Biz Weekly podcast over the weekend and they were talking about a new social network called Chime.in. Michael and Brian both seemed to like it an get some traction on it early. So I thought I’d give it a go. My profile is at http://chime.in/user/PhilJohnsonComedy Your thought is probably…
It seems like every single town I visit has an “historic downtown”. Let me put it this way. There are an estimated 25,000 cities and towns in the USA. If you google “historic downtown” there are 25.2 million results. That’s 1000 pages of historic downtown-ness for every burg, big or small, in the whole country….
8 kids. That’s all I had at my door last night. Now, admittedly, I didn’t get home until 7:30 last night. Probably missed quite a few. But it was dead by 8pm and that’s sad. Ok, it’s a school night, but it won’t kill the kid to go to bed a little late one night….
I’ve talked a bit on here about some of my favorite songs and how they influence my own art, but not so much on the comedy. I think stand-up comedy favorites come in two flavors. There are really solid albums that are full of laughs all the way through and can be listened to over…
From what I know about pitching a movie to a studio, you should have a concise 2-3 sentence summary of what the movie is about. The dialogue and script can come later. Maybe. When you’re dealing with a world of mash-ups, reboots, and obscene product placement, things like dialogue and character development aren’t always at…
Singers do it… Actors do it… Talentless heiresses do it… Never before has a comedian had a signature line of cologne. so darn it, I will be the first. Trail blazer, that’s me…. Check out the commercial. Phil Johnson http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com http://www.facebook.com/philjohnsoncomedy
Scientists this week at the Geological Society of America Conference are debating whether we’ve entered a new epoch. For the last 10,000 years we’ve been hanging around the Holocene epoch and pretty much jacking the place up. They’d like to call this new epoch the Anthropocene, or the Age of Man, because of the geophysical…
Bees can only use their stinger once since it will rip their guts out through their butt and kill them. That makes me figure that a bee really needs to be pissed off to sting you. I don’t think he would be like, “That guy’s a Raiders fan….He’s going down.” But most people who get…
I’ve been diving into a lot of podcasts recently. When I’m on tour, I’m sometimes spending 8-10 hours a day just driving. So it’s nice to hear another human voice besides the inbred hick fine upstanding citizen working at the gas station. Though you may remember that I recently ranted about the low quality of…
I spent all of today driving. And I like driving. Especially through northernmost California and up the Oregon coast like today. And the shows tonight and the rest of this week will be fantastic. The problem is I can’t accomplish much else while I’m driving. I can at least keep my brain engaged with podcasts…
Every geek dreams of it. And not just hanging out with a dude dressed like a Star Wars character at ComicCon. But you know hanging out with some of these people/beings/things would be a hell of a lot of fun. Here’s my choices. 7. Han Solo – Duh… The dude has some great stories to…
Thought I’d drop a couple of cool music videos on your ears today… This first one is from a British Soul/Hip-Hop artist named Matt Henshaw. He’s so good he doesn’t even need a cool name. Anyway, I heard this song first on the CD Baby Music Discovery Podcast, called “The Deepest Cellar” from the album…
That’s what I tell people when they ask why we’ve come to their dinky little town to perform. Comedians love an audience like crack addicts love a pipe. I can only say that my biggest dream for humanity isn’t world peace or nationalized health care. It’s Star Trek beaming technology. Please geeks… Get on it…
I was doing a bit of research for a joke the other day (cuz I do that…) and discovered that there are parents stupid enough out there to give their kids the same name as a famous criminal. Case in point… Father Al Capone of St. Michael’s Parish School in Lowell, MA. Granted his first…
I just finally got a smartphone. I know… welcome to the 21st century. I had been putting it off because I didn’t want to pay extra for the data plan. Just to put things in perspective, I didn’t even start texting regularly until about 8 months ago. My headstone probably won’t say “Early Adopter”. I…
When “Star Wars – The Complete Saga” comes out on Sept 12th, I’m going to have a hard time not plunking down my money for it. You see, I had a VHS bootleg before any of the movies were out. Then I bought the VHS’s. Then I bought the DVDs. Then I bought the remastered…
Alrighty… After 3 fairly sleep deprived days and I’m ready to report back on the happenings at Disney’s D23 Expo. Or as I call it Disney Dork Fest! As with any event like this, there was good and bad. The good? The were much more free about people taking pictures and recording stuff. Only at…
Ok, Yahoo posted this thing the other about jobs that pay over a hundred grand and don’t require a degree. Such as… Nuclear Power Reactor Operator… Oh man. The Simpson’s should have a much larger house then, shouldn’t they? A hundred grand would go a long way in Springfield. Or buy a lot of doughnuts. …
I was extremely bummed this morning to hear that Jani Lane had died. Warrant was a part of my formative teenage years. I was one of the few that could listen to Warrant, Death Angel, Poison, and Nuclear Assault in the same go. 🙂 Years ago I had front row tickets to see Warrant, Firehouse,…
This is a great bit from Greg Behrendt’s last DVD about playing “Free Pass” with your spouse. Not a good idea. This clip is just the beginning of the bit and I definitely recommend getting the DVD to see the rest. Also, go over to YouTube and look for his bits about Pictionary and Chicken…
In the past I’ve never been much of a podcast listener. Much more of an audiobook or music guy in the car. But I had a bunch of driving to do for gigs last week, so I thought I’d give a few a shot. Pretty sure I’ll be back to being an audiobook guy again…
