I sometimes hear people say they hate the Olympics. How do you hate the Olympics? Ok, maybe you don’t enjoy watching them yourself. But how do you hate seeing people work hard and achieve their dreams? It’s like saying you hate charity. If their favorite TV show was preempted by Habitat For Humanity, they’d still…
I have to admit, I’m feeling a little disenchanted with the human race today. Some days the pettiness and stupidity get to you. To let’s go with that vibe and laugh at the stupid people, shall we? Here’s 5 things that will dissuade you from thinking humans are the highest form of life. 1….
As if sign waving /swinging /spinning wasn’t a stupid enough idea, over the last year or so I’ve started seeing sign waving mannequins. This makes me sad for humanity. The original reason for having people wave the signs was to get around local signage laws that prevented a business from posting more than a certain…
My girlfriend sent me a video yesterday showing the new Japanese body modification trend of saline injections into the forehead. Bagel-heads they’re calling them. Now, if you’ve seen my show, you know I’m all about people who have the guts to buck the trend and be a little different looking from other people. But as…
This is something that has always driven me a little bit nuts. Why is it that people are never smiling in old photos? And a lot of them, not only not smiling, but looking grim. I mean yeah, if you had to carry a candle around the house and shit in a wooden shed in…
So I’m flipping through TV channels this morning in my hotel room while packing. Normally I wouldn’t stop on Family Feud, but as the picture came on I saw that “Vibrator” was the number 1 answer for whatever question they were on. And I though, “That can’t possibly be what I think it is. On…
Something happened a few years ago that taught me a little lesson about perception. I was at a music convention in Los Angeles. It’s one I’d been to many times before and I knew most of the artists there well. Next door to our convention was some other meeting thing that looked way less interesting. …
At about 2am, I bolted awake flailing about as hard as I could, unable to feel or move my arms. Apparently I had just slept on them wrong and they went to sleep, as the feeling came back within about 20 seconds. And ooh did it come back. Spent the next five minutes breathing heavy…
Apparently there is discussion afoot of eliminating the “leap second”. That’s an extra second added to the clock once every year or two to accommodate the Earth’s bit of wobble. The next one is due June 30th. I will be throwing a leap second party at my house where I will invite guests in for…
It seems like every single town I visit has an “historic downtown”. Let me put it this way. There are an estimated 25,000 cities and towns in the USA. If you google “historic downtown” there are 25.2 million results. That’s 1000 pages of historic downtown-ness for every burg, big or small, in the whole country….
8 kids. That’s all I had at my door last night. Now, admittedly, I didn’t get home until 7:30 last night. Probably missed quite a few. But it was dead by 8pm and that’s sad. Ok, it’s a school night, but it won’t kill the kid to go to bed a little late one night….
I was doing a bit of research for a joke the other day (cuz I do that…) and discovered that there are parents stupid enough out there to give their kids the same name as a famous criminal. Case in point… Father Al Capone of St. Michael’s Parish School in Lowell, MA. Granted his first…
