I don’t know about you, but I pretty much ignore all the TV commercials and junk mail when it comes to deciding how to vote on various issues. I mostly rely on the voter guide I get in the mail. It’s got the pros and cons and fors and againsts all right there. It’s not…
…and I don’t mean Napoleon Dynamite. Though the same could probably be said about him. Despite the fact that Napoleon Bonaparte was an asshole in every way, he did manage to create an iconic look for himself. And more people remember that look than remember the things he did. Branding, my friends… I speak of…
I’m in the midst of reading Vince Neil’s autobiography. Which, frankly, I don’t recommend. There’s a TON of complaining. Nikki Sixx’s “Heroin Diaries” book is a much more interesting and coherent read. The album is fantastic too. Anyway, I’m reading about how Motley Crue came together and got their start. Got me thinking about how…
I finally got down to Disneyland to check out World Of Color this past weekend. The park was not nearly as crowded as I’d expected on a semi-holiday weekend. With judicious use of fast passes, we didn’t wait for more than 20 minutes to ride anything. Even got my girlfriend to ride California Screamin’ and…
I’m feeling a little under the weather this week with a head cold I caught somewhere in my recent travels. Which means I’m not feeling all that creative or writer-y… So instead of writing something humorous and witty full social commentary and… well, I guess I don’t do that a lot anyway… So, today, some…
A mattress store in my town is running a promotion. “We’ll beat our competitor’s price or your mattress is free!” I would love to meet the moronic salesman who would give you a free mattress because he couldn’t beat the price of the guy across the street. In fact, I’m in the market for a…
An Open Letter To The World From Satan. Dear World, I’ve been watching what’s going on. I get my Yahoo news just like the rest of you yahoos. And I’m getting pretty tired of it. Look, everyone seems to think that I’m the evil one in this game. But all this war and crap? Everyone’s…
I believe that segregation is a good thing in some circumstances. For instance women have their baby showers, men… do not. Men feel out of place at a baby shower. It’s like asking women to attend a tool show, during a football game, inside an auto parts store. Men don’t want to taste test baby…
If you look into some of the population numbers from the time period, Jesus had influence over less than 10,000 people at the time of his death. And as we also know, some of those people didn’t like him very much. On the other hand, Nirvana sold over 25 million records before Kurt Cobain died. …
I’ve been reading about Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani and her sentence of being stoned to death for adultery. First of all, for you potheads out there, that doesn’t mean she smokes until she passes out. She’ll be buried up to her neck in the dirt while people hurl rocks at her head. Because she got laid……
Just saw this post on Mashable about the top 10 most watched web series. Nearly all of them are comedy. First that makes me happy, because the world needs to laugh as much as possible. But that leads me to the question of why there isn’t more successful comedy on TV. The top 10 there…
Be Yourself… Unless You’re An Idiot My new standup comedy and music DVD! Well, it took me the whole darn summer to accomplish this project, but it’s finally done! 45 minutes of new comedy and music that took me two years to write and refine. Plus it includes extra bonus comedy and music clips, a…
Prairie Voles are cute little monogamous creatures found in central North America. Everyone in the little vole village is happily mated up and they go about their daily business of foraging for food and fending off predators (ie. coyotes, snakes, and anyone listed on MegansLaw.com). But there’s one vole… let’s call him Valentino… who just…
I didn’t write any blog posts this week. Kinda sucks.. But between working on my new DVD and promoting and upcoming Manic Melodies Tour appearance, I couldn’t fit it in. Today I’m sitting in my brother’s apartment in LA killing some time before my set tonight. So, no excuses. But then, to be a communicator…
Yep, today, July 30th is apparently National Cheesecake Day. I had no idea. I love cheesecake! However, CBS News decided to be a buzz kill by telling you how much you’d have to exercise to work off a slice of 500 calorie cheesecake. Things like 52 minutes of elliptical training. Or as one commenter suggested,…
The other day I mentioned to someone that I live near a jail. And they said, “Oh! Don’t you worry about criminals escaping?” Nope, not really. It’s a minimum security jail. They break out to have lunch at Taco Bell, then go back. From what I know, it’s mostly blue collar criminal types in there. …
Because no woman wants her reward in Paradise to be 72 virgins. That’s not paradise. That’s a sex-ed class. Nothing says Paradise like an army of premature ejaculators nervously fiddling with their 20-sided dice. They could be finished before she even arrives. Here’s what the men think they’re getting: And the ladies?… Other Blogs On…
I just got back from the dentist and, as a comic, I’m always looking for material during every experience. And during my time in the chair, I realized that I probably can’t outdo Bill Cosby when it comes to dentist jokes. If you’ve never seen it, check out the clip below from “Bill Cosby: Himself”. …
No, I’m not talking about that kind of “weed”. Let’s just say I don’t have the prettiest lawn on my block. Between a busy schedule that keeps me away from my mower and an amazing talent for turning plants brown, I’m sure my neighbors sometimes wish I’d move. I think the world would be a…
In my last post I was talking about the decreasing numbers of paid downloads that the industry is worrying about. And lately the reports of decreasing ticket sales and canceled tours hasn’t helped any. But as I also mentioned, entertainment is a lagging indicator of the economy. And, of course, the exorbitant ticket prices don’t…
Prince, The Purple One himself, seems to have a band case of Notlisteningtohisfansitis. And as a huge Prince fan myself, it’s very frustrating. In case you haven’t heard yet, Prince is taking even more steps than usual to keep his music off the internet. Here’s the short version: http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/story/prince-the-internet-is-over_1151352 And the original interview: http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2010/07/05/prince-world-exclusive-interview-peter-willis-goes-inside-the-star-s-secret-world-115875-22382552/ Prince…
It’s easy to say that the life of a performer isn’t always one of steady employment. But at this point I think it’s safe to assume that there’s no such thing as safe steady employment anymore. At least for right now. So I read a lot about personal finance and try to maximize what I…
Nope, it’s not a new medical drama on TV. I visited Venice Beach, CA last weekend and, within a three block stretch, walked by three “doctor’s” offices offering evaluations for a medical marijuana prescription. Are we really to believe that Dr. Kush (yes, really) is a reputable physician from a top notch school? Or, is…
Now, I understand that potheads are often delusional. But the people that made this list must have really been toking some of the good stuff. My girlfriend gets really bad migraines. Her friend sent her this page from a medical marijuana site that lists all the things that pot has been used as a treatment…
