One of my favorite Disneyland memories happened a few years back when they still had the “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” live game at California Adventure. I was a fan of the quiz show as I’m usually pretty good at trivia myself. And I wanted to get in that hot seat and win whatever…
Have you ever considered the plight of the poor microphone? That poor little device that has to deal people screaming at it constantly and beer (and lord knows what else) breath? It’s a tough job for the little guy. So as I was tracking the vocals for my next single, I thought it might be…
As if sign waving /swinging /spinning wasn’t a stupid enough idea, over the last year or so I’ve started seeing sign waving mannequins. This makes me sad for humanity. The original reason for having people wave the signs was to get around local signage laws that prevented a business from posting more than a certain…
Colony Collapse Disorder is a thing that beekeepers have to deal with when a bunch of their bees skip town. Kind of like when you call in sick on a work day and then go to the beach. Except for you go back to work. The bees move to Minnesota and live under and assumed…
One evening I was watching a movie with my girlfriend and, in the film, the guy was serenading the girl. A tender little love song with an acoustic guitar. And my girlfriend turned to me and said, “How come you never serenade me?” My first thought was to give her my price for a booking. …
Like most parents, my Dad did his best to understand the crazy music I was listening to as a kid. And he was on board with a lot of it, but he never “got” hip hop music. Fast forward a few years, my Dad and I were at a music conference hanging out with tons…
I overheard a lady in a restaurant recently tell her friends, “I like to dip my fries in my milkshake! I’m so crazy!” Mm, yeah. Lithium time for her. Look, when you start dipping the severed limbs of your victims in your milkshake, then we can talk crazy. I think everyone likes to fancy themselves…
As usual, the name I gave the thing is way too long, but there ya go. Par for the course. Anyway, part of the reason this blog has been a little quiet lately is because I’ve been working on a whole new section of my website that you’re going to love! Inside, you can download…
I can’t say I’ve ever been a huge fan of western films. I mean, I’ll watch “Tombstone” whenever it’s on (because it’s awesome). But I’ve never watched most of the classics. But somehow the music from those films like “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly” and “A Fistful of Dollars” has infiltrated my brain…
When I first started writing comedy music, there was one thing I swore I wasn’t going to do. Parodies. Why? Because so many of them are so terrible. As one friend put it, “Replace ‘heart’ with ‘fart’ and there’s your parody.” Not exactly high brow stuff, right? Besides, nobody does parody better than Weird Al…
I was talking with a young child about life the other day. I do things like that. Legit though. Not in a creepy Michael Jackson way. And the kid asked me “What is dying like?” I told him, “It’s terrible. The worst feeling you can imagine. There’s a big white light shining in your face…
I grew up in the early days of rap music and have been a fan since the beginning. I suppose it’s thanks to MTv (back when they played music) that I was exposed to RunDMC, Grandmaster Flash, and the Beastie Boys so early. I’ll put it this way. I discovered Aerosmith after thinking they were…
3D printing is coming, my friends. And I’m ready for it. Now you may have heard about the guys that are already printing guns with these things (that don’t work super great yet, but it’s early). And I think that’s super weird. Throughout the history of the world, the first use of every new media…
“Music is stupid.” That may sound like an odd thing to hear coming from a musician. But I think it explains a lot about my approach to music. Let me explain…. This last weekend, my girlfriend and I were celebrating our anniversary in a nice hotel in Monterey, CA. We’d had a day on the…
I was reading Money magazine yesterday (who’s financially literate? I am!) and there’s an ad for a new testosterone drug called Axiron. I would love to be the guy that gets paid to make up drug names. Drubitan. Manilol. Hmm… Maybe that second one sounds like a cure for Barry Manilow fans. Axiron sounds like…
Recently, I picked the winners of the “If I Were A Girl” trivia contest and part of the 3rd place winner Sheila Baker’s prize, along with my “Stuff People Like” CD, is an autographed eye liner pencil. Which I promptly realized would be quite difficult to sign. So this is a quick little video of…
Today we announce the winners of the “If I Were A Girl” Trivia Contest! Thanks to the 42 people that entered! Are you excited? I know you are! Drum roll please….. First off, here are the correct answers to the 5 questions… 1. What brand of “back massager” is mentioned in the first chorus of…
By now you’ve probably discovered that I make a pretty ugly woman based on the video of my new song, “If I Were A Girl”. It’s below if you haven’t seen it yet. A lot of people have asked if I’ll be making a habit of wearing makeup. The answer is an emphatic “No.” I’m…
Or maybe, “behind the board” would be a better title for this post. Awhile back, while I was working on the recording of “If I Were A Girl”, I took the fans on my email list on a ride through the different versions of the song and how it changes over the course of the…
Did you get your download of “If I Were A Girl” yet? Today is contest day! Answer 5 questions correctly and you can win these prizes! 1st Place: Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction DVD 3-Pack – Including “What Color Is Your Laugh?”, “Raising A Rockus”, and “What Color Is Your Laugh?” A “Be Yourself…Unless You’re…
Beyonce, eat your heart out… Oh, boy… I’ve been working on this one for quite awhile. It was written a year ago and today it’s officially available for download! “If I Were A Girl” started off as an idea for a parody song based on Beyonce’s “If I Were A Boy”, which I find to…
This song has taken way longer than I wanted it to to get done. Sorry about that. I think I remixed it about 10 times and had to learn some new software in the process. Finally finished the final mix literally 5 minutes before I walked out the door to catch my flight for the…
The internet is great in a lot of ways. Puppy videos, instant access to music, up to date news without having to look at some newcaster’s perfect teeth. But sometimes I just wish information would travel a little slower so it doesn’t get out of hand. Today, finally, we’re getting some, hopefully, solid news on…
Over the weekend I finally made it up to the Disney Family Museum to see the Snow White exhibit called “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: Creation Of A Classic”. It was the final weekend, so if you haven’t seen it yet, this blog post is the best you’re gonna do. 🙂 It was a…
