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  • Humor | Music | Videos

    Solo Acoustic Version of “The Legend of Ms Garcia”

    ByPhil Johnson January 29, 2016February 5, 2016

    The studio version of “The Legend of Ms Garcia will be available on Friday February 5th and I’m excited for you to hear it. Since we’ve had some behind the scenes peeks at the song here and here, I thought I’d give you an “in front of the scenes” look today. If you have my…

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  • Disney Stuff | Music

    Where did Ms Garcia Come From?

    ByPhil Johnson January 27, 2016October 5, 2017

    My favorite songs that I’ve written are the ones that come with a visual story attached to them.  At least in my head, even if I never get around to doing a video for them. “The Legend of Ms Garcia”, which will be released on February 5th, is one of those songs.  It’s about my…

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  • Humor | Videos

    Why I Can’t Be Scared Of Rural Vampires from Forks

    ByPhil Johnson January 15, 2016

    This is a little clippy clip about vampires from my latest comedy special “Pretty From The Back” I just can’t be scared of vampires from places like Forks, Mystic Falls, or Bon Temps.  Here’s why. When I was a kid our vampires were rich aristocratic types who lived in a castle high in the Carpathian…

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  • Humor

    Down in the Deep Dark Web

    ByPhil Johnson January 6, 2016

    I’ve been reading a bit about the Dark Web lately.  Particularly in a great (and long) book called Future Crimes. The Dark Web is a large section of the web that can only be accessed by the TOR browser which anonymizes all your internet activity.  While it’s initial purpose was to help people protect their information online, it’s…

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  • Entertainment Business

    What’s On Tap for 2016

    ByPhil Johnson December 31, 2015

    New Year’s Eve is a time when everyone parties it up and then gets all serious the next day about what they’re going to do over the next year. I try to have some plans in motion before January because getting back to work after the holidays is hard enough without having to try new…

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  • Humor | Music

    Christmas Music For People Who Hate Christmas Music

    ByPhil Johnson November 25, 2015

    It’s that time of year again where stores open for longer hours and people go to great depths of debt and sleeplessness to create “joy”. And to accompany all that strfesstivity?  (I made up a word! Yay!)  The constant trickle of badly covered Christmas songs. Back when I worked in grocery stores, I had to…

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  • Humor

    Just be quiet, racist people…

    ByPhil Johnson November 10, 2015

    I just realized it’s been awhile since I posted a blog here.  Not for lack of writing.  I spend 3-4 hours per day writing.  Been working on new stand-up material and songs for my 4th comedy special.  I’m about 15,000 words into the first draft of a novel.  And I’m working on some sample pieces…

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  • Humor

    Playmobil Puts Shackled Slave On Pirate Ship Because History

    ByPhil Johnson October 9, 2015

    Have you seen this Playmobil pirate ship thing?  Usually when a mother cries insensitivity about some toy her kid is playing with my first thought is “Calm down. You haven’t been damaged and neither has your kid.” And I’m not even mad about this one because I know Playmobil didn’t mean it to *exactly* look…

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  • Entertainment Business

    World Series of Comedy Pics

    ByPhil Johnson September 29, 2015

    I just got back from the 2015 World Series of Comedy in Las Vegas.  I didn’t do nearly as well as last year, but from what I’m told my round was one of the toughest of the week.  And I didn’t come in last.  So it could definitely be worse. The whole week is always…

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  • Road Stories

    Found This at The World Series of Comedy this week…

    ByPhil Johnson September 22, 2015

      Coming to you from deep in the heart of Las Vegas at the annual World Series of Comedy.  When I showed up yesterday I noticed the posters for the event around the casino featuring different comedians from years past. And then I saw this one… Joe Lowers, the creator of the festival said he…

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  • Humor | Videos

    Will This Feature Be On The iPhone 6S?

    ByPhil Johnson September 16, 2015September 15, 2015

    So the iPhone 6S is supposed to be out on September 25th.  As usual I won’t be buying one.  I’m nothing if not consistent. But I do wonder if the feature in this clip will be built into instead of an optional accessory.  And if it is, be prepared for screaming butt dials. And yes,…

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  • Humor

    7 Scholarly Science Articles Re-Titled For The Internet

    ByPhil Johnson August 26, 2015March 15, 2016

    Internet journalism is becoming more and more like baby food.  Easy to digest and chock full of 14 vitamins and inaccuracies. It’s only a matter of time before serious scientific research is forced to do the same.  So I’m helping them get ahead of the curve.   These 7 original headlines are courtesy of Science….

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  • Humor

    Taking the “Sub” out of Suburban

    ByPhil Johnson August 18, 2015

    A long while back, we bought a house in the lovely suburb of Milpitas, CA. Now first of all, since we all need something new to be offended by, let’s try the word “suburb”. The prefix “sub” means less than. Which is calling my town somehow imperfect or below an urb. We have the same ethnic…

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  • Humor

    Salad Bars and Why Lettuce Can Jump Off A Cliff

    ByPhil Johnson August 14, 2015

    When they finally come up with the pill that will let us eat anything we want without gaining weight, lettuce can fuck right off. Those weeds and lawn clippings shall never touch these lips again. Because really, nobody actually likes leafy greens. You know how I know?  Because nobody gets stoned and goes “Dude… Leeeeettuuuuce…”  Waking…

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  • Music | Podcast

    Two Big Releases Today! – Kissing in the Rain and Under the Crossbones

    ByPhil Johnson August 11, 2015

    Typical business advice says to release one project at a time and make sure it’s aligned to your core business. Ok, yeah, whatever… I don’t like to hold things back when they’re ready to go, so today I’m releasing 2 new projects that I’ve been working on. First up is my new single, “Kissing in…

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  • Humor | Uncategorized

    Earth 2.0 Is Like A Lost Dozen Donuts

    ByPhil Johnson July 29, 2015July 28, 2015

    So the NASA brainiacs recently discovered a planet, Kepler-452b, that they’ve dubbed Earth 2.0.  Of course it’s 1400 light years away.  So I wouldn’t start packing your bags and burning bridges just yet. Sure the real estate there is still cheap.  But just try to find a buying agent.  Darn near impossible.  Though I can…

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  • Entertainment Business | Music

    Let’s Do Spotify…

    ByPhil Johnson July 25, 2015

    I’m looking into offering some cool goodies and otherwise being much more active as an artist on Spotify. However their new rules insist that an artist have at least 250 followers before I can claim my Artist Profile. They have apparently never heard my axiom that every band is somebody’s favorite.   So if you’re…

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  • Uncategorized

    Hey, Banana Republic… Branding Matters…

    ByPhil Johnson July 15, 2015

    Here’s a new clip from my recent comedy special, “Pretty From The Back” about Banana Republic.  Every time I pass one I wonder what they were thinking naming the place that.  They obviously don’t know what a Banana Republic is.  And you certainly couldn’t name other stores the same way. Check out the video below…

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  • Humor

    I’m getting into the guided meditation biz…

    ByPhil Johnson June 30, 2015

    I’m always looking for new places to put my creativity to work.  And as I’ve been listening to interviews with really successful people, one of the things they mostly have in common is some sort of daily meditation. So I’ve been trying to maintain a meditation regimen myself.  There are lots of different kinds, but…

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  • Entertainment Business

    Why the Marc Maron/President Obama Interview on WTF is Important (To Me)

    ByPhil Johnson June 22, 2015

    I just finished listening to Marc Maron’s interview with Barack Obama on WTF.  If you haven’t heard it yet, you can stream it here.  When I found out last Friday that it was going down I got so excited!  Not excited like my favorite TV show is coming on.  I mean excited like my friend…

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  • Humor | Uncategorized

    The Auto Obscene RoboCall

    ByPhil Johnson June 17, 2015

      Everyone hates robocalls.  And yet they must work or companies would stop using them.  So I figure the perverts of the world are going to need to modernize too.  Take a listen below to hear what happens.

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  • Disney Stuff | Videos

    How Donald Duck Pierced The Veil of Darkness

    ByPhil Johnson June 9, 2015June 9, 2015

    June 9th is Donald Duck Day.  I’m not quite sure how Donald gets his own day and Goofy doesn’t.  Though I guess we could say that any day politicians are in charge of anything is Goofy Day. As a Disney nerd though, I’ve always dug Donald.  One of the rights of passage of childhood is…

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  • Books | Music

    What I’m Into This Week – Lyrics Born, Butch Walker, Purple, and Lady Pirates

    ByPhil Johnson May 19, 2015

    Thought I’d give a few recommendations today for some cool finds in the book and music world. Quick, name me one Japanese-American rapper from Berkeley.  If you name one, it’ll be Lyrics Born.  I’ve been an LB fan since “Callin’ Out” and every album gets better than the last.  And his new one, “Real People”…

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  • Uncategorized

    The Neuroscience Behind Laughing

    ByPhil Johnson May 14, 2015May 18, 2015

    I just saw this TED Talk with a Sophie Scott, a neuroscientist, talking about laughter.  Really interesting stuff.  Truthfully, a lot of the information is stuff that comedians know intuitively.  But it’s cool to hear it explained scientifically. I love that laughter is such a primitive, unconscious sound.  And yet as comedians, we have to engage…

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