The Beatles Aren’t Bigger Than Jesus, But…

If you look into some of the population numbers from the time period, Jesus had influence over less than 10,000 people at the time of his death.  And as we also know, some of those people didn’t like him very much.

On the other hand, Nirvana sold over 25 million records before Kurt Cobain died.  And he was younger than Jesus.   That’s way more influence.

People were upset, but nobody went “The rest of history doesn’t matter!  This is now the year 1 AK !”  That would be “After Kurt”.

Oh, but Nirvana had the power of MTv, you say… Well, yes.  But would we really want to see Jesus on the VMA’s going “Yo, my new book is about drop next week.  It’s called the Bible, y’all.  Buy it bitches!”?

Of course now there are 1.2 billion Christians in the world.  Because Jesus had a good PR team and didn’t even have to leak a sex tape.  Though he does have a Facebook page with 3.3 million friends.  Nirvana has 3.1 million friends.

Now, there are only 14 million Jews left.  That’s not quite few enough for the endangered species list, but we may have to start mating them in captivity soon.

And so with 140 million albums sold, the Beatles are not bigger than Jesus.  They are however way bigger than Abraham.

Elvis on the other hand has sold 1.3 billion albums.  That means we’re due to see an Elvis biography in every hotel room now.

We’ll all be saying, “Our father who art in Graceland…”

…and wearing little gold toilets around our necks.

Phil Johnson

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The Beatles Aren’t Bigger Than Jesus, But… — 3 Comments

  1. The Phule’s Company series by Robert Asprin depicts a future with a Church of the King that expects followers to visit Graceland at some point. They say that he “left the building” instead of dying.

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