In case you’ve never looked at me, I have a background in hard rock and metal music. LOVE the stuff. But some of it hasn’t held up well over the years. Some of the lyrics are downright unacceptable now. Violent, sexist, homophobic… Not very politically correct.. So being a responsible modern adult white male (‘woke’…
Have you seen this Playmobil pirate ship thing? Usually when a mother cries insensitivity about some toy her kid is playing with my first thought is “Calm down. You haven’t been damaged and neither has your kid.” And I’m not even mad about this one because I know Playmobil didn’t mean it to *exactly* look…
Internet journalism is becoming more and more like baby food. Easy to digest and chock full of 14 vitamins and inaccuracies. It’s only a matter of time before serious scientific research is forced to do the same. So I’m helping them get ahead of the curve. These 7 original headlines are courtesy of Science….
Typical business advice says to release one project at a time and make sure it’s aligned to your core business. Ok, yeah, whatever… I don’t like to hold things back when they’re ready to go, so today I’m releasing 2 new projects that I’ve been working on. First up is my new single, “Kissing in…
Everyone hates robocalls. And yet they must work or companies would stop using them. So I figure the perverts of the world are going to need to modernize too. Take a listen below to hear what happens.
According to this post over at Geek.com, Kanye West is developing a video game that has the player getting Kanye’s dead mom to the highest gate of Heaven by holding her to the light. Kanye’s dear mother Donda passed away in 2007. If she’s not there by now… Besides, Kanye already proclaimed “I Am God”…
Well, here we are at the end of 2014. This will be my last missive of the year. I’m not even sure what a missive is, but it sounds like it should be included in that sentence. After my last gig this Sunday for a private party, I’ll be taking a couple weeks off to…
Yep, I totally meant to write this post a week ago when the trailer came out. But it didn’t happen somehow. So now…. If you haven’t seen the trailer for the new Star Wars film yet, you’re probably not reading this post anyway, because you don’t have electricity or friends. But just in case… Ok,…
Sure, fame brings money and opportunities your way. You can be the house with good Halloween candy and send your kids to a fancy private school where they can learn to hate you for being so distant. But you’re not really famous unless these 7 things are happening. Side note: I had to make some…
Just (Don’t) Say No I was at a college booking showcase. The type where we do an 8 minute set for 1000 college kids. All of whom have the power and budget to keep me employed for a year plus. I was talking with one of the guys running the event and he says, “Don’t…
There’s a good chance you haven’t seen me on TV yet. Unless my mother has shown you that one community access show from when I was 14 where I played “The First Noel” on the flute. If her house were to catch on fire, let’s just say that’s not the object I’d rescue first. Just…
On the last episode of Being Blackbeard, Tony and I were talking about a scene in the 2nd episode of Crossbones where the two pirates were discussing this new navigation device that everyone is trying to get their hands on. The one pirate said something to the effect of “I thought it was well known…
I usually spend a couple minutes each day cruising around the net to stay up on the zeitgeist. Sometimes I find something really intriguing, creative, or useful. More often I find things that are the equivalent of a song you hate and can’t get out of your head. The thing is, headline writing has become…
I woke yesterday morning to a giant brouhaha about Phil Robertson’s comments about gay people in a GQ interview. Ok, first off, GQ stands for Gentleman’s Quarterly. It’s a style and advice, manly man type of magazine. The kind of guy that polishes his shoes, drinks fine brandy, and thinks women respond to pickup lines….
I originally sat down to write a post about Miley Cyrus and how she’s more of a clown than anything Ringling Brothers can offer. Or maybe how there’s so much pitch correction on her album that it sounds like even the studio Pro-Tools rig was going, “Who is stabbing this poor woman in the throat…
For the most part, I’ve taken to watching TV shows after they finish their run. Then there’s no waiting for a new season and losing sleep over a cliffhanger. Mostly because I find it exceedingly dumb to lose sleep over a TV show. Right now I’m in the midst of both Lost and The Office. …
As you may have sussed out from my regular mentions of Star Wars and Disney stuff in my show and online, I lean a good bit to the geek side. (Come to the geek side, Luke…). And recently I made the acquaintance of Amy Ratcliffe who runs and writes for a bunch of cool geek…
I’m headed for the Disney D23 Expo next week, so I’ve got a bit of Disney on the brain. Plus my trip there will be followed by shows in LA and Las Vegas, so it oughta be a hell of at trip. 🙂 One of my favorite Disney things over the last couple years has…
I have to admit, I’m feeling a little disenchanted with the human race today. Some days the pettiness and stupidity get to you. To let’s go with that vibe and laugh at the stupid people, shall we? Here’s 5 things that will dissuade you from thinking humans are the highest form of life. 1….
As Comic-Con prepares to fire off a nerdgasm of epic proportions this week, I’ll be enjoying it from afar because I’ve got shows to do this weekend. Before the internet, you had to geek out on your own. And if you found a few friends that were into Star Wars or Dungeons and Dragons or…
As if sign waving /swinging /spinning wasn’t a stupid enough idea, over the last year or so I’ve started seeing sign waving mannequins. This makes me sad for humanity. The original reason for having people wave the signs was to get around local signage laws that prevented a business from posting more than a certain…
I overheard a lady in a restaurant recently tell her friends, “I like to dip my fries in my milkshake! I’m so crazy!” Mm, yeah. Lithium time for her. Look, when you start dipping the severed limbs of your victims in your milkshake, then we can talk crazy. I think everyone likes to fancy themselves…
The internet is great in a lot of ways. Puppy videos, instant access to music, up to date news without having to look at some newcaster’s perfect teeth. But sometimes I just wish information would travel a little slower so it doesn’t get out of hand. Today, finally, we’re getting some, hopefully, solid news on…
Well, since we’re just getting into 2013, I figure it’s about time we start talking about year 3000. So here’s a few of my predictions for where the world will be 987 years from now. 1. Windows will continue to degrade until every computer that comes with Windows 337 aka Windows “O” (see below) will…
