I was surfing last night (yes, on a perfectly legitimate site), and there was this ad for “7 Innocent Words That Turn Women On”. “Well,” I thought to myself, “In the interests of science and psychology, I should check this out.”
They claim you can use a few normal little words in a perfectly innocent context and have a woman panting and naked in no time. Suuuuuure….
But hey, let’s check it out, shall we? Apparently there’s a right way and wrong way to do this.
Right Way: (When she comes in from the rain…) Oh, you’re so wet.
Wrong Way: I think I just wet my pants
Right Way: (When talking about feelings and emotions…) And how does that make you feel, deep inside?
Wrong Way: … and that’s when I left her floating face down in the deep end of the pool.
Right Way: (When you’re waiting for her to come over to your house…” I can’t wait for you to come.
Wrong Way: Come. Heel. Sit. Stay.
Right Way: (When she’s talking about a challenge she’s facing…) Do you like it when it’s hard?
Wrong Way: Do you have any money? I’m a little hard up.
Right Way: (When you’re giving her food…) Here, just put it in your mouth.
Wrong Way: (When you’re giving her a GHB spiked drink…) Here, just put it in your mouth.
Right Way: (When she says something that makes you happy…) You make me so happy. You make me feel warm inside when I’m with you.
Wrong Way: I’m leaving you locked inside until you stop screaming.
Right Way: (When her ice cream is starting to melt…) Baby, you’re dripping all over yourself.
Wrong Way: This medicine I’m taking causes anal leakage. I’m constantly dripping all over.
There it is boys and girls… Talk to your lady in the right way and get lucky. Talk to her in the wrong way and get a restraining order. The choice is yours.