“Santa’s Working From Home” is out now! I couldn’t let this shit show of a year go by without a new Xmas song, so here we go. During a pandemic even Santa Claus has to work from home. And he’s not really handling it all that well. This is the first time I’ve written a…
It’s that time of year again where stores open for longer hours and people go to great depths of debt and sleeplessness to create “joy”. And to accompany all that strfesstivity? (I made up a word! Yay!) The constant trickle of badly covered Christmas songs. Back when I worked in grocery stores, I had to…
Well, here we are at the end of 2014. This will be my last missive of the year. I’m not even sure what a missive is, but it sounds like it should be included in that sentence. After my last gig this Sunday for a private party, I’ll be taking a couple weeks off to…
Some metal bands attack a Christmas songs with a healthy sense of how ridiculous the whole idea is. Or they’re versatile enough musicians to really pull off a cool version of a Christmas song without seeming like a parody of Spinal Tap. Yes, I know Spinal Tap is a parody itself. But I already covered…
In case you’ve never spoken to me for more than 5 minutes, I’m not a big fan of Christmas music. After hearing “play some Christmas music!” every year of our young music playing lives, my brother and I swore it off years ago. But, of course I have released a few Christmas songs over the…
Years ago when I was working in grocery stores, they would torture us every Christmas with the worst versions of every Christmas carol ever. And those people doing those versions were getting paid every time it played. I vowed that one day I would write and record some Christmas music and get some of that…
Don’t…. Just don’t. That’s pretty much it. I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a contrarian. If everyone is doing one thing, I’ll generally run in the other direction. Not all hipster-like “Dude, that band was better when they weren’t popular,” but more “Hey Grown Man with an Angry Birds shirt on, it’s just a game.”…
I’m going to be MIA online until Jan 2nd. Time to wrap up the year with some eating, some reflecting, some writing, some planning, some more eating, and some relaxation. It’s been a great year and I have you to thank for it. Lots of great new stuff coming up in 2012 and I look…
Objectification of Women Objectification of Men
There’s a life strategy that works very well for getting out of something you don’t want to do. Do it badly. You’ll never be asked or expected to do it again. Unfortunately, my girlfriend has already figured this out and it doesn’t work for me that well anymore. Hence, I’m still mowing the lawn. But…
I’m sure you have gotten a zillion emails about holiday sales. Black-this, Cyber-that. I’m a contrarian by nature, so I thought I’d try something different: Giving away large quantities of stuff for the holidays. 🙂 So starting today thru 12/24, you can gift one of my albums to anyone you’d like for no money. AND you…
At the first Thanksgiving, the pilgrims had a cozy little dinner party with the native Americans. A people they were about to do battle with over the next few hundred years. Not unlike your own Thanksgiving dinner when you sit down with that aunt of yours that makes snarky comments about your weight when you…
There are a lot of printed materials that the internet has put an end to. Many of them I will miss when they’re gone, like books, magazines, or bar posters featuring beer girls. But I won’t be sad to see the greeting card industry take a dive. A greeting card is nothing but a piece…
One of my favorite Xmas things when I was a kid was setting up the Nativity scene on our fireplace mantle. I told my girlfriend that I kind of miss doing that part. She said “I thought you didn’t buy into those stories.” True ’nuff. As I mentioned last year in this blog, Xmas is…
Long ago when I was working in grocery stores doing resets, the holiday season made me want to tear my ears off with a rusty box opener rather than listen to another horrible version of some cheeseball Christmas song over the stores PA system. You haven’t understood pain and misery until you’ve heard the instrumental…
It always seems like some things have been around forever. Like Christmas. Surely we’ve been dragging trees in the house and roasting chestnuts since year 1, right? Well, no. The holiday of Saturnalia was started by the Romans in 217 BCE as a day to honor the god Saturn. It started out as a one…
