Just when you thought that truck nuts were the stupidest thing to spend money on, the ladies take the cake. Or the pie, as the case may be.
Vajazzling is a new trend in which women pay someone to stick Swarovski crystals to their bikini area, often in the shape of a moon or star or gopher or something.
Are women really so enamored with sparkly things that they have decorate their hoo-hoo like a My Little Pony?
According to a friend of mine, it’s popular to have done after a breakup. She’s saying, “I need something to show the world I’m still a real woman! Turn my vajayjay into a disco ball!” What ever happened to just getting drunk and sleeping with a stranger?
And what happens when she lands a new guy. Does she put up a sign that says, “Welcome to the Crystal Caverns”?
Does he ask if he can vajizzle on her vajazzle?
What if he chokes on a crystal and die? How embarrassing will that court case be? Death by gratuitous vaginal accessory? Way more irritating than a little stubble.
And you know , fashion things like this always start with rich people and work their way down the social food chain until they’re commonplace. Which means soon you’ll be able to walk into a strip club and see a chick trying to set fire to a line of ants.
Besides do you really want your crabs to be huddled around a crystal like the Skeksis in The Dark Crystal? Trying to reunite the shards and wield the ultimate power over your vagina?
And apparently, the popularity is all Jennifer Love-Hewitt’s fault.
Ladies… Starlets do dumb things and should be beaten about the head. Don’t follow starlets.
Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com
Song of the Day: You Make Me Feel (Like I Can Do Anything) – Click to stream.
At the beginning of this track you’ll find some of my views on starlets.
PS… I’ve got 8 free songs for you to download and keep. And since they’re free you’ll still have enough money to junk pasted to your vagina. http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com/8-free-songs