Vajazzling or The Idiocy of Disco Poontang

Just when you thought that truck nuts were the stupidest thing to spend money on, the ladies take the cake.  Or the pie, as the case may be.

Vajazzling is a new trend in which women pay someone to stick Swarovski crystals to their bikini area, often in the shape of a moon or star or gopher or something.

Are women really so enamored with sparkly things that they have decorate their hoo-hoo like a My Little Pony?

According to a friend of mine, it’s popular to have done after a breakup.  She’s saying, “I need something to show the world I’m still a real woman!  Turn my vajayjay into a disco ball!”  What ever happened to just getting drunk and sleeping with a stranger?

And what happens when she lands a new guy.  Does she put up a sign that says, “Welcome to the Crystal Caverns”?

Does he ask if he can vajizzle on her vajazzle?

What if he chokes on a crystal and die?  How embarrassing will that court case be?  Death by gratuitous vaginal accessory?  Way more irritating than a little stubble.

And you know , fashion things like this always start with rich people and work their way down the social food chain until they’re commonplace.  Which means soon you’ll be able to walk into a strip club and see a chick trying to set fire to a line of ants.

Besides do you really want your crabs to be huddled around a crystal like the Skeksis in The Dark Crystal?  Trying to reunite the shards and wield the ultimate power over your vagina?

And apparently, the popularity is all Jennifer Love-Hewitt’s fault.

Ladies… Starlets do dumb things and should be beaten about the head.  Don’t follow starlets.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

Song of the Day: You Make Me Feel (Like I Can Do Anything) – Click to stream.
At the beginning of this track you’ll find some of my views on starlets.

PS… I’ve got 8 free songs for you to download and keep.  And since they’re free you’ll still have enough money to junk pasted to your vagina.  http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com/8-free-songs

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