Top 10 Reasons Global Warming Is A Good Thing

I missed posting a blog last Friday for the first time… Bummer.  The dangers of being on the road with no internet connection available.  But now that I’m back from my east coast tour, back to business.

In the interest of looking on the bright side of things….

The Top 10 Reasons Global Warming Is A Good Thing

10. We’ll never ever have to listen to another woman go “I’m coooold!  Are you cold?  I’m freezing!”
9. Bikinis will be in season all year around
8. Basal cell carcinoma will become a fashionable accessory
7. Monster waves dude.  80 feet high.  Taking out every crappy little tourist trap beach town on the coast.
6. Only the strongest animals will survive which means awesome new TV shows about 30 foot fanged fish that eat people.
5. Apple’s iGasMask will filter out CO2 while you text message your friends about the 30 foot fanged fish you saw on TV.
4. There will be a huge surge in job openings for idiots willing to stand in the middle of a major storm and report about it on TV.
3. We’ll never again have to sit through a slow motion scene of two lovers running to each other through a field of wild flowers.  Really… Who does that?
2. The price of calamari will go down after giant squid start knocking on the lifeguard chair.
1. Wine production in France will decrease while production becomes better in England, giving the British a chance to produce something even remotely palatable to the rest of the world.

Phil Johnson

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