Phil Johnson of Roadside Attraction » video

Phil — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 22:06:36 +0000

Realized I hadn’t posted a new video in a little bit, so this is a clip from one of my DVDs, “Be Yourself…Unless You’re An Idiot”.

When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time (over 18 years for me any my girl) you have to work at keeping things spicy and interesting in the bedroom. And you can’t buy into the garbage the magazines spew… “Role play, bring in toys, touch him there!” He doesn’t want to be touched “there.”

So I can up with my own plan and here it is.

If you like this, click on over to stream the rest of the tracks from the album.

More new videos coming soon, so don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube Channel.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

Songs I Wish I’d Written Part 2

Phil — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:42:53 +0000

A few days ago I started writing about the songs that I use as a swipe file for my own songs. Someone once said, “Blatant rip-offs are the sincerest form of flattery.” Or something like that. I was never good at copying other people’s work anyway. It’s why I was never in a cover band. Invariably, when I try to copy something, it comes out different and becomes something new.

So, here’s part 2 of Songs I Wish I’d Written…

Instant Karma! by John Lennon
This is an interesting one. I said there wouldn’t be any Beatles on this list simply because every songwriter is influenced by them in some way and it’s more their body of work that interests me. Instant Karma is a John Lennon solo song and usually I’m pretty ambivalent to his solo work. The chorus on this song is amazing though. Super catchy and plays against the verses perfectly. Plus, it’s not a love song. I’m always trying to get away from those. Somewhere I have recordings of my band actually performing this song…

By the way… In that video, why the hell is Yoko Ono knitting blindfolded in front of a live mic?

Paisley Park by Prince
There are a zillion Prince songs I could put here. But I’ve always been drawn to the hippie funk vibe of the “Around the World in a Day” album and especially “Paisley Park”. Kind of fitting to put it after a John Lennon song as it has a very “Sgt Pepper’s” kind of vibe to it. It’s also a great example of using finger cymbals in a song.

Housequake by Prince
I could go back to James Brown here as is the obvious influence on Prince for this one. Housequake adds the couple extra decades of music behind it to update the sound a little. It’s a super hard groove and a killer party vibe. I file this under “songs that don’t mean a damn thing”. Shut up already… damn.

Sometimes It Snows In April by Prince
Ok, one more. The dude is so darn prolific, there’s too many to choose from. As I mentioned previously, I love fun and funny songs, but a really good, really sad song is awesome. And this, above any other is my favorite Prince song. It’s from his film “Under The Cherry Moon”, which, if you haven’t seen it, is the best of his three films. Another stunning chorus on this one. Just soulful enough to put a scrunch on your face and a beautiful melody. And who wouldn’t be touched by a lyric about a best friend dying.

Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol
It’s not often that a fairly new song makes my swipe file. While this one has been around awhile, it’s probably the newest one here. And that’s only because most everything has been done before. The evolution of music is a very slow process. What I love about this song is that’s it’s an exercise in simplicity. Not only does it only have three chords, I don’t think it has more than 4 notes in the entire song. It makes it very meditative. And it shows how much arrangement plays in the effectiveness of a song. The whole build into the last chorus makes the thing work. Such a shame that the rest of the album didn’t stand up to the quality of this song.

Pleasure – Soup Dragons
Back to the fun stuff. This entire album, Hotwired, is always in rotation for me. It’s all so fun and upbeat and often a good kickoff song for my road trips. This is from a time in the early 90′s when guys with guitars were just starting to discover danceable beats and electronics. EMF, Jesus Jones, bands like that. This is another song that I love for it’s absolutely shallow meaning. Nothing deep. Just a solid beat and a great guitar riff.

Everlone by The Wildhearts
I had a tough time choosing this one. The album “Earth vs. The Wildhearts” is a hidden gem in the music world. I’m still trying to achieve some of the arrangement and vocal ideas these guys captured. Just like the Soup Dragons and Snow Patrol, the haven’t been able to really follow it with anything quite as good since then. This song has it all. Punk energy, big heavy guitars, a wonderfully complicated arrangement with a ton of ideas, sweet Beach Boys harmonies, an awesome chorus. So much to learn from here.

Now you’ve got a little bit of an idea of where my music comes from. There’s tons more. I tend to pick up ideas from songs here and there. Even stuff I don’t particularly like. The message that I try to get across to everyone is to listen to as much music as you possibly can. With streaming services and the like now, there’s no reason to not jump outside your comfort zone and try something new.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

Songs I Wish I’d Written

Phil — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 17:45:10 +0000

Every songwriter has a list like this. It’s hearing a song that makes us go “Damn! Why didn’t I think of that?!” that makes us continue to write, always looking for the holy grail of songs. Or the next holy grail anyway.

Once difference between just liking a song and being influenced by a song is that the writer feels they could have written that same song under the right circumstances. As much as I love the Beatles, you won’t find any on this list. Even though their influence is inescapable, I don’t think I’d have written the songs the same way. The ones on this list make sense to me immediately because they make me say “that’s what I’d have done if I thought of it!”

If you know my work, some of these won’t be a surprise. Or, at least, it could be an aha moment of “that’s where he ~~stole~~ ~~ripped off~~ borrowed that idea from!” And if you don’t know my work here’s a good place to get started listening to it.

Don’t Fear The Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult
Yes, it’s the cowbell song. This is one of my earliest songwriting favorites. The main guitar riff is a classic and the vocal melodies are just repetitive enough to lock them in your head. I probably would have messed it up with too many variations. Though I definitely would have dropped the whole prog-rock middle section and left it as a 3 minute pop song, but that’s just me.

Good Vibrations by The Beach Boys
As far as I’m concerned, this is the greatest pop song ever written. Brian Wilson called it a “pocket symphony”. A regular length pop song that cycled through different movements like a symphony. Not to mention, the first use of distorted bass and the theremin hook. Seriously cutting edge stuff for the time. This song was directly responsible for a song called “Flat World” that my band had a minor radio hit with in the late 90′s. Though with that one we used a lot of Carribean and Latin influence in the groove, the idea of symphony style movements was the main idea we were working with.

Love Shack by The B-52′s
Hell yes…. Granted, Fred Schneider should never have been allowed near a microphone. Did you know he did a solo album? Yeah, neither did anyone else. But this song falls into my “It’s absolute nonsense, but so much fun!” type of song. It’s one of those ridiculous songs that anyone can sing along with. It’s accessible, but still has a great arrangement. Plus it’ll be played at weddings forever. I’ve always harbored a dream of writing a great lasting wedding reception song. With my luck I’ll probably end up writing something closer to The Chicken Dance than Love Shack.

Whiskey Lullaby by Alison Krauss and Brad Paisley
I love really fun songs and I love really really sad songs. And this one is a recent discovery for me. It’s got the creative turn of phrase that every country hit seems to need now. “He put the bottle to his head and pulled the trigger.” But unlike other songs, it actually surpasses the hook to have an actual story. The lyrics about heartbreak and alcohol abuse would bring a tear to anyone’s eye. Plus I could listen to Alison Krauss sing the ingredients from the back of Windex bottle.

Colors of the Wind from “Pocahontas”
There was bound to be a Disney song on here. And there’s probably quite a few more that could make the list. But this one is a little different, because I didn’t really like the movie all that much. The story is a bit bland for Disney standards. But this song is a stunner and the Vanessa Williams version in particular is a treat to listen to. This is the kind of song that is written in the blandest pop ballad style with preachy lyrics, but the melody carries it to all the right places. The lift on the first line of the chorus going into that Am chord makes the whole thing. Sometimes a song is made in two measures, and that’s definitely the case here.

The Bad Touch by The Bloodhound Gang
Ok, enough of the serious stuff for a bit. Bloodhound Gang songs are either awesome or horrible. Rarely in between. And The Bad Touch is definitely awesome. And it’s all about the lyrics. Total tongue twister laden with bizarre and hilarious sexual jokes “Me and you do the kind of stuff only Prince would sing about.” Nobody would accuse this band of being amazing musicians, but this is one of the greatest sets of funny sexual lyrics ever written. You have to listen a zillion times to hear it all.

Ladies and Gentleman… “The Let’s-Go-Out-Tonites!” by Butch Walker
Butch is one of my absolute favorite songwriters right now. In fact, the whole album this song comes from is always in rotation for me. One day when I told my girlfriend that this was my favorite song from this album, she said, “Of course it is. It sounds like a chorus you would write.” God bless that girl. Butch makes a good chunk of his living writing songs for other artists. He’s written a lot of hits and knows the formula. In his own work he takes that formula and gets much more creative with it. His lyrics are very visual and his melodies support them every step of the way.

Fuck You by Cee-Lo
Yeah, it’s just about played out now. But I still like it. And not the safe “Forget You” version either. I think it’s hilarious and awesome that he found mainstream success with this song. And the first time I heard it literally slammed a fist down on my desk and went “Why didn’t I think of that!” My favorite songs make me happy and angry at the same time. This is the kind of song that drives me to pick up a guitar and find something new again.

Ok, this is turning out particularly long. So I think I’ll do a part 2 to come out on Friday. Keep a watch out for it!

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

My 10 Favorite Comedy Bits Of All Time

Phil — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 19:58:57 +0000

I’ve talked a bit on here about some of my favorite songs and how they influence my own art, but not so much on the comedy. I think stand-up comedy favorites come in two flavors. There are really solid albums that are full of laughs all the way through and can be listened to over and over again. For me that would be stuff like Bob Goldthwait’s “I Don’t Mean To Insult You, But You Look Like…”, Robin William’s “A Night at the Met”, and Dov Davidoff’s “The Point Is”. All of those I can listen to over and over and still laugh. They’re almost like a comedy opera where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

The other kind are the outstanding set pieces. A bit for all time. The stuff you can quote to your friends the next day. When you think back over a whole comedy show and you remember a particular section of it clear as day… That’s what we’re talking about here.

And yeah, there’s no George Carlin, Richard Pryor, or Carrot Top (shock!) here. Carlin and Pryor are album experiences to me.

1. Eddie Izzard – Death Star Cafeteria (from ‘Circle’)- The first time I heard this bit I was in my car driving through San Francisco. I nearly had to pull over because I was laughing so hard I was afraid I was going to hit someone. Granted, I’m a Star Wars nerd, but I think this one has a little something for everyone.

2. Eddie Izzard – Covered In Bees (from ‘Glorious’)- Ok, I admit, I listen to A LOT of Eddie Izzard. This bit is a little more standard stand-up than his other stuff, but it’s a great example of a mix, which is a technique I use a lot. And it must resonate with his fans since he’s still selling “Covered In Bees” t-shirts at his gigs years later.

3. Robin Williams – Golf (from ‘Live On Broadway’)- I found it really cool that 30-some years into his career, Robin Williams came up with one of his most finely crafted comedy pieces ever. And it really is as close to a perfectly written bit as you can get. There’s different layers to it. There’s the basic concept of the ridiculousness of golf, but the added Scottish act out on top of it, plus the energy he bring really takes it over the top. A lesser performer could do a lot of the same premises and not be able to sell it.

4. Christopher Titus – Dad’s Funeral (from ’5th Annual End of the World Tour’)- Titus is dark. And I don’t mean fake, made up dark for shock value. He takes the most horrible parts of his life and puts them on stage and makes them pass-out-from-lack-of-air funny. This bit about his Dad’s funereal requests and what they actually did is one of the absolute best pieces of comedy I’ve ever heard. I can’t find a video for this bit anywhere, so go over to MOG and listen to it there.

5. Bill Cosby – Dentists (from ‘Himself’)- “Himself” was one of the first comedy specials I saw as a kid. And while now we have the term “ROFL”, I actually was rolling on the floor laughing watching this bit. Couldn’t catch my breath. It was probably THE moment that turned me into a comedy fan.

6. Bob Nelson – Football – If Bill Cosby was THE moment, this bit from Bob Nelson was the second. Bob always does great characters and “dem helmet and dem should’em pads” and “dain bramage” pops into my head at random intervals. A sure sign of a memorable bit. And now you can see Bob in Branson in his own theater.

7. Mitch Hedberg – X (from ‘Mitch All Together’)- Mitch had a zillion really awesome bits that are just fun to remember. This is one that always makes me laugh when I hear it. It’s a great mix of anthropomorphism and just off-center thinking.

8. Ralphie May – Popeapalooza (from ‘Girth of a Nation’)- Ralphie is one of those guys that can get away with saying just about anything on stage. And his take on the aggrandizement of the pope’s death is fantastic. He does it right after a bit about a tsunami killing thousands and then says, “Ok, in this next joke, only one person dies.” Brilliant. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a video for this one either, but you can listen to it on MOG.

9. Greg Behrendt – Crybaby Spiderman (from ‘Uncool’)- Generally Greg is an album guy for me. But this bit is a standout (with Chicken Situation in a close 2nd). He’s got a great storytelling style on here with material that nobody else could really do, because it’s so “him”. There’s an interested conundrum at the end. The closing line is a joke that’s kind of obvious. But it had to go there because that’s what the audience expected at that point. And they almost beat him to the line. I think his delivery suffers because of it, but there’s almost nothing you can do when you’re delivering a joke like that. Part of the laugh is that the audience was on the same wavelength as you.

Warner Brothers are a building full of idiots who don’t know how the internet works. They disable embedding for this video, but I encourage you clink the link and check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0XqhwI0zcY

10. Patton Oswalt – Sky Cake (from ‘My Weakness Is Strong’)- I often run across things that make me think, “Damn, I wish I wrote that.” This bit is one of those. It cuts. It’s well written. It has Patton’s signature sideways thinking. He makes great points. The first time I heard it, I laughed uncontrollably. And then felt sad that I didn’t think of it first.

Be sure to leave me a comment below and tell me what your favorite stand-up comedy bits are too!

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

My New Celebrity Cologne For Men

Phil — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 17:37:53 +0000

Singers do it… Actors do it… Talentless heiresses do it… Never before has a comedian had a signature line of cologne. so darn it, I will be the first. Trail blazer, that’s me….

Check out the commercial.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

http://www.facebook.com/philjohnsoncomedy

Bad Ass Jams From Opposite Sides Of The Pond

Phil — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 20:24:26 +0000

Thought I’d drop a couple of cool music videos on your ears today…

This first one is from a British Soul/Hip-Hop artist named Matt Henshaw. He’s so good he doesn’t even need a cool name. Anyway, I heard this song first on the CD Baby Music Discovery Podcast, called “The Deepest Cellar” from the album of the same title. He tags it as similar to Gnarls Barkley or Outkast. I can hear the influence of the 2nd. It really sounds a lot like “Midnight Vultures” era Beck to me. And I love that album.

The track is really a great soul track with a vintage mix on it. And he flows really well, which is my biggest complaint with a lot of the new American hip-hop. Want to hear an American who can really flow like crazy? Check out Tah Phrum Duh Bush.

Anyway, here’s the vid for “The Deepest Cellar”

The other video I found for today is Butch Walker’s new single “Summer of ’89″. Butch has been one of my favorite songwriters for years now. If you haven’t heard his album “…and The Let’s Go Out Tonites”, you’re missing one of the great rock records of the last decade.

Butch’s last few records have been in a mellower mood, lots of country and singer/songwriter-y stuff. But on his new album, “The Spade”, he’s seems to be putting his rock shoes back on. “Summer of ’89″ actually would have made a great summer single had it been released a little earlier.

My favorite line has to be “Nobody knew Bryan Adams wasn’t cool. The TV just told me he was.”

Leave me a comment below and link your favorite music video you’ve run across lately…

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

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Star Wars Complete Saga Blu-Ray – Drowning In Geekery

Phil — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 23:02:47 +0000

Luke and Annakin trudging back and forth to the Tattooine Best Buy to buy get another copy of Star Wars.

When “Star Wars – The Complete Saga” comes out on Sept 12th, I’m going to have a hard time not plunking down my money for it. You see, I had a VHS bootleg before any of the movies were out. Then I bought the VHS’s. Then I bought the DVDs. Then I bought the remastered DVDs. Good lord, I still have boxes of action figures in my closet.

I watched the movies more times than I can count. I even have the prequels, which so many fans love to hate on.

So I suppose I’ll end up buying the blu-ray as well. The problem is I hate blu-ray. Everything is too sharp and clean. It makes it look fake and I think it ruins the effect of cgi. Avatar looks like a low-budget video game in blu-ray. It makes me want to wear my girlfriend’s eye glasses just to blur the edges a bit. And Jar-Jar Binks looks fake enough without any help from blu-ray, thank you very much.

Ah… but the 40 hours of extras. Enough deleted scenes, documentaries, bloopers, commentaries, and random crap to choke a rancor. Despite the fact that I’ve read all the books and seen the extras on everything other DVD… And despite the fact that I should know better since I’ve been on movie sets, I’ll watch them. Not all at once of course. You need a pee break sometime.

Movie sets are way less exciting than they seem. It’s a lot of waiting while other people get their shit together for the next scene. No doubt, it’s still fun, creative work. But action packed, it ain’t.

40 hours of extras for Star Wars nerds… That could cause multi-day global slowdown in technology advancements between Sept 12th and 15th as nerds everywhere lock the door and settle into the couch with a bag of Funyons and their shiny new blu-ray discs. Just think of it, 40 hours of George Lucas’s monotone voice…

Plus, they’re fixing things. You won’t see the stick in the Wampa’s arm anymore. And Yoda has been replaced with CGI (poor Frank Oz) so he doesn’t look all cross-eyed in the prequels. I always wondered when Yoda might have had eye surgery between episode 3 and 4. And, if I’ve heard correctly, Han is shooting first again. As it should be.

So yes, I’ll probably plunk down my $90 for the set when it comes out. And a blu-ray player. I don’t have one.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

Xmas Nativity Scene

The Only Converstation I Ever Had With Jani Lane…

Phil — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 17:38:53 +0000

I was extremely bummed this morning to hear that Jani Lane had died. Warrant was a part of my formative teenage years. I was one of the few that could listen to Warrant, Death Angel, Poison, and Nuclear Assault in the same go.

Years ago I had front row tickets to see Warrant, Firehouse, and Trixter. At one point during the show, Jani asked me from the stage “Hey, where’s the best place to party around here?” I said, “Nowhere. You’re in Santa Clara.”

Warrant were always compared to Poison and there were plenty of similarities. But I never thought Poison could really pull of “serious”, “Every Rose” not withstanding. Warrant, however, really seemed to grow as a musical unit and create some interesting stuff. If you haven’t heard their album “Dog Eat Dog”, give it a go. There’s some really outstanding stuff on there. Yep, it sounds like 80′s hair band music, but more sophisticated lyrically and arrangement-wise.

Sorry to see you go Jani…

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Greg Behrendt on Sexy Free Passes

Phil — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 17:35:26 +0000

This is a great bit from Greg Behrendt’s

last DVD about playing “Free Pass” with your spouse. Not a good idea. This clip is just the beginning of the bit and I definitely recommend getting the DVD to see the rest.

Also, go over to YouTube and look for his bits about Pictionary and Chicken Situation. Warner Brothers in their inane wisdom doesn’t allow embedding.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

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Vagina Cupcakes…

Phil — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 21:49:35 +0000

Nope, it’s the not the name of the latest riot-grrrl band… It’s an actual cupcake made by Chaos Bakery.

I have a neighborhood potluck picnic coming up. I would give anything to be able to bring a box of these. And never say anything about them.

She says it doesn’t matter what flavor cupcake you start with… Yes…. yes, it does.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

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