As with any event like this, there was good and bad.  The good?  The were much more free about people taking pictures and recording stuff.  Only at the film division presentation did they take away everyone’s phones and cameras.  Everything else was up for grabs.  And yesterday, at the end of the last day, they did a group photo of everyone in attendance that was wearing a costume.  Good for them.  Disney has, in the past, been very down on people wearing costumes to their events.  So I’m glad to see them turning that around a bit.

The bad?  Lines… lots of them.  And I know lines are part of the Disney experience.  But as you’ll see, it was a bit out of hand at times.  And it prevented a lot of people from seeing a lot of things.

As for the presentations, and I’ll detail the ones I saw below, some were really good, and some were head scratchers.  Overall I had a really good time, met some really cool people, and got inspired to come home and continue my own artistic pursuits.

One of the great things I love about Disney events is the mix of people.  Every age, every ethnicity.  From hipsters in skinny jeans and hoodies to old ladies with canes to little kids to ComicCon types to body builders to emo kids.  Not only mixing, but talking to each other.  Groups of people you wouldn’t otherwise see sharing good conversation.  The only other place I see mixtures like that is in casinos.  The proof that shared interest can bring together some very diverse people who learn to like each other.

You see, everyone loves a good story.  And at the end of the day that’s what Disney deals in.  Good stories.  And those stories connect with people.  It’s really heart warming to be around people that are so passionate about these stories.  And since I have a permanent Devil’s Advocate in my head, I also realize it’s completely and utterly ridiculous that people get into this stuff so much.

When I see, say, an animation production drawing from the 30′s priced at $4000 I think to myself, “This is a picture that took an animator about 15 minutes to draw and they want four grand for it.  Bizarre.”  Then I think, “I WANT IT!”  It makes me realize that no matter how high minded we think humans are, we’re still just creatures of instinct looking to feel something interesting.  Some sort of sensory and emotional stimulation that keeps us going to reach the high minded stuff.

Ok, let’s dig in.  I arrived at about 9am on Friday morning to be confronted with a HUGE line to get in.  I think I had to walk to Bakersfield to find the end of it.  It took just over an hour to get inside the building.  The first big event of the day was the Legends Ceremony, which was a must-do on my list.  So, of course, as soon as I got in the building I had to get in line for the ceremony for another 90 minutes.

Yep, the first two and a half hours of my day was spent waiting in line.  At one point a cast member was coming down the line with survey cards and asked if I’d like to fill one out about my experience at the Expo.  I said, “All I’ve done so far is stand in line.”  He kept walking.

But at least I did get into the ceremony.  A lot of people didn’t.  Because the real problem with the Expo was just too damn many people.  Easily twice as many as the last one.  I’m going to put some pictures of the ceremony below because people asked for them, but as you’ll see, I was pretty far away from the stage.  Even maximum zoom couldn’t make up for it.  Did the best I could.

Tom Staggs at Disney Legends Ceremony

First up was Tom Staggs, Head of Parks.  He’s not a performer, so he was a bit stiff.  But hey, it’s not his normal gig.   He introduced an Oscar-style death roll of people in the company who passed in the last two years.  Then he introduced Tom Bergeron of Dancing With The Stars who would MC the rest of the show.

They started with the 5 princess voice actors being inducted.  And after seeing the amazing performance they gave, I thought it a little bizarre that they would start with them.  The eventual finale was very nice, but I think the ladies would have left a bigger impact.

Anika Noni Rose - Voice of Tiana - Accepting her Disney Legend Award

First up was Anika Noni Rose who was the voice of Tiana in The Princess and the Frog.  She’s the youngest ever recipient of Legend status and I’m not completely sure I agree with it.  Sure, she’s very talented, but I think it’s a little early in her Disney career to give her this award.  She even said that until the day before she thought the award was for Tiana and she was just there to rep.  She didn’t realize it was her they were honoring.  Which tells me she doesn’t really the know the company as well as she should to be receiving such an award.

Lea Salonga accepts her Disney Legend Award

Next was Linda Larkin who was the speaking voice of Jasmine in Aladdin.  For some reason I didn’t get a picture of her.  Lea Salonga later thanked her for not being able to sing.

Lea Salonga is the singing voice of both Jasmine and Mulan.  Disney discovered her in her Tony award winning performance as Kim in Miss Saigon on Broadway.

Paige O'Hara accepting her Disney Legend award

They were working backwards through their princesses, so up next was Paige O’Hara, voice of Belle from Beauty and the Beast.  She seemed extremely pleased to be getting the award.  And she was also the most visible of the award winners throughout the expo.  She had at least two autograph signing events in the main hall that were lined up for days.  She didn’t seem at all afraid of getting out and mixing it up with the masses.

Jodi Benson accepting her Disney Legend Award

Last up was Jodi Benson, voice of Ariel in The Little Mermaid.  All the ladies were very grateful for the award, but Jodi was on the verge of tears.  She even whipped out her Disney employee card that she’s had for so long it doesn’t even swipe anymore.  This, to me, is what a Disney Legend should be.  She’s put in her time and effort on countless Ariel projects and really loves the company and her job within it.  The only bummer of her acceptance speech was when she started bringing God and religion into it.  I’ve never thought awards events are the right place to proselytize and the rest of the audience didn’t seem to either.  But you couldn’t help but be happy for her.

The Princesses sing A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes at the Disney Legends Ceremony

Following their awards Linda Larkin came out and introduced them as they each sang a song from their respective movies.  All extremely good of course.  Lea Salonga has an absolutely pristine, perfect voice.  Just stunning.  Jodie Benson really seemed to embody Ariel.  It was as if the mermaid herself had sprouted legs and came on stage.  At the end, all four came out to sing “A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes” from Cinderella.  No matter who they are, or what they won, it’s always fantastic to hear beautiful voices singing a song as perfect as that one.

That seems like it would be a show stopper, but like I said, it was just the beginning.  Next up they gave awards to some of the company insiders that people may not know as well including Ray Watson who was the architect and urban planner that helped Walt get Disney World started.  Ray asked if he could sing too.

Barton Boyd was Disney’s long time head of merchandising.  Barton unfortunately passed away just two months ago and the award was accepted by his daughters who shared some of their favorite Disney memories.

Regis Philbin accepting his Disney Legend award

Then it was back to a little star power with an award for Guy Williams who played Zorro in the TV series.  His award was accepted by a large contingent of his family, including his son who brought Zorro’s sword and saluted the audience with a flourish.

Next it was super-ham time for Regis Philbin.  The dude is a TV fixture and holds the world’s record for most hours spent in front of a camera.  Here’s a guy that treats every stage as his own, chewing the scenery like nobody’s business.  I’ve never been a huge fan, but it was fun watching him rib Tom Bergeron.

Kermit and Rolf do Rainbow Connection at the Disney Legend awards

And finally, the last recipient was Jim Henson, creator of the Muppets.  They did a nice little retrospective, showing some vintage muppet footage.  Brian Henson and his wife recreated a very early Muppet piece based on the song “Accustomed To Your Face”.  Very funny.  The show closed with Kermit the Frog (on banjo) and Rolf the Dog (on piano) doing “Rainbow Connection”.  It’s one of those songs that people love to hate, but man, it’s a really well written piece of music.  I was amazed at the performance as well.  Those guys LIVE those characters.  At one point Rolf missed a vocal cue, Kermit corrected him, and they had a moment of banter on a vamp.  Obviously not planned, but they played it off perfectly.  It lent a really nice, relaxed touch to the performance..

Then I headed off to the Carousel of Projects where Imagineers were showing off their new goodies.  This is where we thought Disney might have a little trouble this year.  In 2009 they announced a bunch of cool projects and in 2011 they’re still working on them.  So it was mostly more details about things we already knew about. It started with a quick little film highlighting park achievements over the years, done in 180 degree, Semi-CircleVision.

Model of Fantasyland expansion at Disney World

There was a really great model of the new Fantasyland expansion in Disney World.  And some of the head Imagineers on the project were on hand to discuss updates and details on it.  It’s always exhilarating to talk to people who are passionate about their jobs and these guys runneth over.

The basic concept is that they’re building the fantasy forest out beyond the castle.  The thought being that that’s where the stories take place, so that’s where they should be.  I like it.  They’ve already moved Pooh and they’re finishing up a lot of the Beauty and the Beast stuff.  The next huge project is the Dwarve’s Mine Ride.  It’s going to be a roller coaster with a dark ride component.  And a new ride vehicle that swings side to side like a mine car would, making the ride both smoother and more exciting.

There was also some great Carsland/DCA stuff that for some bizarre reason I didn’t take pictures of.  They had a full-size Red character vehicle that will be in the ride as well as a prototype of the ride vehicles in Radiator Springs Racers.  The rest of the room was stuff about Aulani, Disney Cruise Lines, and Adventures By Disney.  There was also a small land massing model of the new Shanghai park which only recently broke ground and doesn’t have a lot of details yet.  They also had their latest animatronic Destini interacting with the guests.  It’s going to be a really interesting technology when they figure out how to implement it in an attraction.

Prop from Ramone's Auto Body in Carsland

Model of Carthay Circle Theater being installed at California Adventure

Radiator Springs Racer Vehicle

Carsland Vehicle

For the auction this year you had to buy a separate ticket, even to watch.  But fortunately you could check out the preview room for stuff most of us can never hope to afford.

Pirates movie display

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum from the Alice in Wonderland ride

Peter Pan Ride Vehicle - I would love to have this...

Yep, these are the actual mischevious ghosts from the Haunted Mansion. Now you really can take them home with you.

Friday also brought me to the Walt Disney Parks and Resort presentation where they dish the dirt on the gems of the Disney crown, the theme parks.  Really nothing much new here unless you’re totally not paying attention the rest of the year.  They talked about Aulani and even gave away an opening weekend trip to the guy that found the sticker under his chair.  It sure wasn’t going to be in the 2nd to last row where I was.

The presentation started with Mickey playing the drums with the band and kind of went downhill from there.  Aulani, a little on the cruise lines, the beginning of the Shanghai park, the Fantasyland Expansion at Disney World, the upgrades at DCA.  We did get to see a pre-viz video of the the Dwarves Mine Car ride going into Disney World and it really does look fun.  It’s a roller coaster than then slows down inside to a dark ride before picking up again.  We also saw a pre-viz for the castle in Shanghai which will be the biggest yet and actually have substantial interior space, including a ride.  Very cool.

Kathy Morgan, executive producer of Carsland, dropped a little story about how the cast member shirts in that land will be modeled after John Lasseter’s substantial collection of Hawaiian shirts with a Route 66 theme.

George Kalogridis, president of Disneyland, gave some very vague facts to close the presentation.  They’ll be working on some “experience” things for Disney nerds.  Like dinner in the Haunted Mansion with Imagineers.  Some stuff about possible access to older attractions like the Tahitian Terrace.  And an expansion of Club 33.  Details?  Not a one.  You know as much as I do.

Personally I don’t think they should grant more access to Club 33.  While it’s a place that every Disney fan strives to visit, I also know lots of people who have been there.  Meet the right people, get in the club.  Making it less exclusive will only harm that vibe.

Then they capped it by talking about the replacement of Carnation Plaza at Disneyland with the Fantasy Fun Faire.  This was announced a few months ago to a collective yawn by Disney fans.  They’ll be in trouble with the traditionalists for yanking the plaza.  But they assured us that live swing bands and such will still be appearing there.  Mostly it will be food, shops, and a princess meet up.  Yep, yawn.

Tom Staggs very awkwardly closed up the presentation by saying, “Thanks.  That’s our presentation.”  And there was a palpable expectation in the air that there had to be more.  Like they were going to drop a surprise of some sort on us.  But no.  Mickey came out and played some more drums and we all filed out to get on to the next line.  Blah.

Dick Van Dyke and the Vantastix

My next line was for the Dick Van Dyke and the Vantastix performance.  A 3 hour line.  At a Disney event, Dick Van Dyke is like Justin Bieber.  Dick was performing with his acapella group and they were great.  Cool songs, Disney and non, great singing, and some fun stories.  And it would have been even better if I didn’t have to wait 3 hours to see it.

Dick Van Dyke up on the big screen

By Saturday I was so sick of lines that I didn’t bother to try for a lot of things I would have liked to see.  I skipped the film division’s presentation.  Brave and Avengers were the big topics.  And apparently some of the Avengers actors made appearances.  The strange thing was that in 2009, the place buzzing with excitement after the film presentation.  This year I actually had to ask someone what happened because NOBODY was talking about it.

Michael Giacchino expounding on the importance of the score in film.

I did get to see Michael Giacchino’s talk.  He’s the score composer for Cars, Rattatoulie, and Up, plus shows like Alias and Lost.  He hit all the bases.  It was a very entertaining talk with great stories.  Stuff that would easily appeal to the non-music types.  And plenty of cool info for us music types too.  Even down to what kinds of gear he has in his home studio, how his work flow goes, and good tips on how to marry music to film effectively.

I skipped the rest of the presentations on Saturday and hung out in the collectors forum looking at stuff I couldn’t afford to buy.  It’s amazing to see a production sketch done in pencil, that took an artist 15 minutes to do in 1937, now fetching $4000.  But it’s all fascinating to look at.

The various artists of Disney Fine Arts are immensely talented.  If you’ve never seen Noah’s work, check it out.  I could have easily spent half the value of my house just on art alone.  Instead I restrained myself and bought one little cel from a random Donald Duck cartoon for $25.  It’s my first cel and now I have to figure out how to frame it without ruining it.

Angelica's Costume - Pirates of the Caribbean 4

They also had a great display of props and costumes from Pirates of the Caribbean 4.  And fortunately they were out in the open so there was no line.  Here’s a few pics of those…

It's Keef's pirate hat!

A "miniature" of the Black Pearl used for filming. At 21 feet long, it's not all that miniature.

Barbossa's Peg Leg from Pirates of the Caribbean 4

The last panel I saw on Sunday was an update on Carsland featuring John Lasseter and his crew.  I love nothing more than watching someone talk about the things they’re most passionate about.  And Lasseter is all over this.  The Radiator Springs Racers are based on Test Track at Epcot, though they won’t go quite as fast.  40 mph instead of 60.  But fast enough.  And of course it will be thoroughly themed.  The whole thing sounds really fun.  And of course the Luigi’s Tires ride is something everyone is waiting for.  It’s based on the old Flying Saucers from the 1960′s (?).  It was long gone before I was born, but it was my mom’s favorite ride and she told me lots about it over the years.  They’ve worked out the engineering kinks and think it will be a hit now.

At the end, Lasseter talked about having been a Jungle Cruise skipper in 1977-78.  And mentioned that he doesn’t have a picture of himself on the job back then.  So he announced a contest.  Anyone who find a pic of him as a skipper while he was there will be a VIP guest to the opening of Carsland in 2012.  Way cool.  You can submit pics at www.JohnOfTheJungle.com

My camera ran out of batteries halfway through the Treasures gallery.  And I didn’t bring the charging cord with me.  Dumb, I know.  I’ve got a few more pics on my phone but can’t figure out how to get them off there.  Tech savvy, that’s me.

The Treasures gallery was fun though.  Some of the stuff was kind of “whatever”.  Nick Cage’s costume from National Treasure – jeans and a t-shirt… yippee.. But some was very cool.  The original title card from the old Mickey Mouse cartoons, which is now the wallpaper on my phone.   Here’s pics of a few other things:

Roger Rabbit's Already Crashed Through...

Zorro's Costume

Sargeant Garcia's "Zorro'd" pants

Jimmy Dodd's Mousegeetar

By mid-day Sunday, honestly, I was a little bored, and frustrated about not being able to get into more panel events.  So I did a bit of shopping.  Picked up the official t-shirt designed by Noah and an Expo pin for my friend Lyndee who couldn’t go. That was a big difference from 2009.  At that expo I was still racing around seeing things on the afternoon I had to leave.  And I’d already seen a lot.  This one I didn’t get to see nearly as much which just kind of dampened my enthusiasm a bit.

Overall though it’s definitely worth the trip if you’re a Disney Dork.  Lots of opps for up close and personals with stars both famous and obscure.  Loads of amazing art to look at.  And enough shopping to choke a Kardashian.

I have more pictures as well.  Here’s a link to a zip file than contains them all if you’d like to see them.  If you have any questions about what something is in a picture leave me a comment under this blog and I’ll see if I can remember.

If you made it reading this far, thanks ya big Disney nerd.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

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10. From SaJ Production comes this cover of “Part Of Your World” from The Little Mermaid.  If Ariel were an alcoholic… This is what “Enchanted” should have been.

9. Here’s a good reason for teenagers to not have access to video equipment.  Death metal growling of a Disney medley using… wait for it…. Guitar Hero guitars.

8. Here’s a cover of “Under The Sea” from The Little Mermaid by a band called Doping Panda.  It’s apparently from an import comp CD called Moshpit On Disney…. I NEED a copy.  This is good weird.

7. Ok, this is the terrible Miley Cyrus version of “The Tiki Room”.  What gets me is the video with all the completely unrelated and unexplainable footage of Rupert Grint and Emma Watson on the set of the Harry Potter films.  I’m stumped.

6. I discovered there’s a ton of ukelele players out there and they seem to like Disney songs.  I found this video of a dude in sunglasses and camisole (?) doing “Jolly Holiday” from Mary Poppins particularly disturbing.

5.  Yep, more uke… I love people that go against the grain.  And this dude in the Motorhead shirt and fully tatted arms playing a uke with a picture of a teddy bear in the background actually does a pretty great version of “Everybody Wants To Be A Cat” from The Aristocats.

Honorable Mentions of Everybody Wants To Be A Cat:
Hellanbach – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7WKQY6QhdM
Trudbol – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0tfb1UC6xM

4. “Heigh Ho” from Snow White seems to be a pretty popular song to cover.  But I think this super creepy ass version from Tom Waits in 1988 takes the cake.  It sounds like a mine shaft disaster.

Honorable Mentions:

Nick Cave – Hi Diddle Dee Dee and Heigh-Ho – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06ZfFO92rj8
Los Lobos – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JkOzlFZUt0
Dirty Heigh Ho – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGCjiZqrZC0
The Vandals – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDAVsE42xk8

3. Ok, this is a fairly straight forward version of “Kiss The Girl” from The Little Mermaid, but apparently the dude thought it was a Katy Perry song.  Nothing like a little soft lesbian anime porn to go along with your Disney songs.

Honorable Mention:
Rufus – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3lj_M6uVDE

3. Ok, no embedding on this one, but LL Cool J’s version “Who’s Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf” is worth an extra click.  My favorite lyric?  “Number 1 was very gay.  He built his house with hay.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDucj50eQYs

Honorable Mention:
Barbara Steisand – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3SmmKtR8Bw

2. Zip A Dee Doo Dah also seems to be a popular cover.  And Ric Ocasek’s atonal wobble of a voice is a perfect match for this cheeseball Cars style video. No embedding on this one either. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLlqCEmQJsA

Honorable Mentions:
Jackson 5 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzQ_8rrIzMg
The Rationals – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gerMU8iDk2A (Rockinest version ever!)
The Mummies – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kH-MDUDdsL0

1. Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present Gene Simmons of KISS doing “When You Wish Upon A Star”.  Please God, let there be a Gene Simmons/William Shatner duet out there somewhere.

Have you found other weird or cool Disney covers I missed?  Link them in the comments below…

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

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The rallying cry? “Too many damn princesses!” And I heartily agreed.

Originally, the expansion was going to include a bunch of new meet and greet areas with the princesses each in their own little area. I was sure at that point that Disney had forgotten that their fan base was something besides girls between the ages of 4 and 8.

But fortunately, thanks to a bunch of loudmouth fans and people like the ones who made this genius video, Disney reconsidered the plans and is putting all the princesses in some shared living space to get all the meeting and greeting done at once.  And for giving dirty old men fuel for some whacked out princess sorority pillow fight fantasy.

This princess dorm will be located where Snow White’s Scary Adventures is now.  I’ve not been on the WDW world version, but I’ve heard it’s not quite a nice as Anaheim.

So, what do we get? Well, Mickey’s Toon Town Fair is closed up and will be replaced by the Storybook Circus. Which sound suspiciously generic to me. All we really know so far about it is that Goofy’s Barmstormer will be re-themed around a character called The Great Goofini. But basically the same ride I assume. This is also where the new double Dumbo ride will be as well as a bunch of play areas.  So we’re looking at a bit of a kiddie land on this one.  Which is fine.  It keeps the little ones away from the thing I want to see and ride.   You can see some of the preview posters for this area here.

The Little Mermaid ride is well underway.  And I expect it will be similar to the one going up in Anaheim.  A good call since one coast always complains when the other coast gets a cool new ride first.  Like siblings on Christmas morning.

Since the Snow White ride is on the way out, they’re replacing it with a roller coaster type ride on a Dwarves’ mine car theme.  Sweet.  Something adults can get into and still keeping the ‘ol girl and her little men in the park.  Good plan.

And thank Walt.. The pixies have been booted from the park.  Tinkerbell and her nameless, faceless friends are fine, but two straight to DVD movies should not get you prime park space.  The pixies will be over in Epcot (weird, yes) where they will take some role in the Epcot Flower Festival.

The Beauty and the Beast area will still be as planned.  The Beast’s castle as well as a walk through-ish thing of the village and you can eat at Gaston’s tavern which will be doing double duty as a daytime fast food and nighttime sit down restaurant.  Sorry, no flagons of ale, all you role players.

I’m actually kind of looking forward to this part.  The village scenes in BatB, I think, are some of the most intimate and realized of any of the films except maybe Pinnochio.

The one thing I don’t see is an attraction that will really compete with the Harry Potter ride at Universal.  I haven’t been on it, but apparently is as top notch as top notch can be.  Disney will need to get this Fantasyland stuff out of the way and ride that wave of promo while they work on something really blockbuster.

A bonus for me though?  Not one mention of any attractions using screens and projections as it’s main technology.  They got away with motion simulators and projection type attractions for quite awhile, but I think we all really like to THINGS while we’re riding.

Best of all, they got all this crap figured out before they even think about touching Fantasyland in Anaheim.  We’re probably at least 10 years out from that.  But thanks to customer feedback via the internet, it should be much better… And less girly.  Yay!

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One thing that really surprised me was a lack of Princess and the Frog stuff.  It’s been less than a year since it came out.  I expected to be battered about the head with it.  I saw, maybe, 3 items the whole time we were there.  A painting in the World Of Disney store, a quick flash in WOC, and one other thing somewhere.  The movie was a big hit, so I’m perplexed as to why they weren’t pumping it more.  Not even a window display at the Emporium.

So, on to World of Color… Overall impression?  Super cool and I wouldn’t hesitate to see it again.  It’s eye candy of the highest form, but could use some improvement.

The first thing I noticed, during the day, is that you can see all the fountain heads sticking up out of the water.  So instead of a nice shimmering lake, it looks like and industrial accident.  Walt wouldn’t have allowed it.  I would think they would either fill the lake higher or have put the fountains on a platform that could be raised and lowered for the shows.

We opted to get the picnic meals that get you the fast pass for the first show of the night.  The meal itself was better than I expected out of cold fried chicken and potato salad.  Or we were just really hungry.   But since we spend most of our vacations eating anything we can get our hands on, I’ll say it was better than we expected.  Larger portions than it looks like in the pictures too.

Our fast passes got us into the blue section.  Not sure how they decide who gets what section, but the sight lines were pretty decent from the bridge.   I just wish they wouldn’t STILL make you get there an hour ahead of time even after paying extra for the fast pass.  If I have to pay, I want to be able to show up 30 minutes before and get a decent seat.  Then again, there are no seats, so there ya go.

So we hang out for 30 minutes or so, then a pre-show show gets underway.  It involves two singers/MCs and some cool Lion King on Broadway style puppetry.  Huge light up puppets of Tigger, Genie, Mike W (from Monsters Inc), Lumiere, and Sebastian.  They MCs do a sing along, hype the crowd thing involving the characters to some obscure song from Tarzan.  I liked the puppets a lot.  Nicely designed.  The singers are obnoxious.  It’s what you’d expect from Disney.  Overblown rah rah by a girl and a guy with their best radio voice on.  And the original song they sang was totally unmemorable and so sweet it made your teeth hurt.

The music is Disney’s live in-park events is always lacking to me.  I know it has to be palatable and easy on the ears, but that can be done better.  I mean, Colors Of The Wind is one of the sappiest songs ever written, but the melody carries it so well.  Why can’t they get better songs for their shows?

So that show lasts 15 minutes.  Which leaves us with another 15 minutes to stand around.  I love that they try to entertain you while you’re waiting for the main event.  But that last 15 minutes in between gives you that “don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone” feeling.  They either need to lengthen the pre-show or just put it in the last 15 minutes and segue right into the main show.

Then the show begins… And like I said, it’s beautiful eye candy.  This thing makes the fountain show at the Bellagio look like a drinking fountain.  It follows a formula somewhat like Fantasmic.  There’s the funny/goofy section, the love section, the dramatic artsy section, and the villain section.

However, unlike Fantasmic, there’s not plot.  Admittedly, Fantasmic’s plot is thin.  But what can you expect out of a 20 minute show?  WOC has no plot at all.  Which makes it more like a “Disney’s Greatest Hits” show.  Except, as many hard core fans have noticed, they miss a lot of hits.  Only the briefest references are made to the oldest Disney films, including Snow White.  Though I really liked the minor key version of “April Showers” from Bambi.

Most of the show though is “give them the catch phrase and go” entertainment.  Crush the Turtle yells “Righteous!” and Wall-E says “Eve” and Buzz Lightyear says “To Infinity And Beyond!”.  A couple short scenes from the film and that’s it.  I understand they probably wanted to keep the show fairly modular.  And a plot makes that more difficult.  But it needs some plot really badly.

As a comedian, I’m very attuned to the energy of a crowd.  And this show dropped them in the last five minutes.  I could feel the audience thinking “I’m just about done with this”.  That never happens in Fantasmic because the energy and the plot build to keep them engaged.  WOC turns the knobs to 10 right off the bat and there’s very little ebb and flow.

But like I said, it’s great eye candy and definitely worth watching.  I’ll repost these videos of the show below, but they don’t really do the thing justice.  If you’re going, make some time to see the show.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

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But there’s one vole… let’s call him Valentino… who just can’t settle down.  Can’t find the right girl with just the right beady eyes.  Val has commitment issues and is the village outcast.  According to the book “How To Defeat Your Own Clone”, Val has a deficit of a hormone called vasopressin that keeps him from being monogamous.

Val, having already been genetically altered to be more self aware than the average vole, decides to strike out on his own to track down a vasopressin specialist.  During his travels he runs into a meadow vole village.  Meadow voles are horny little bastards and will mate with anything that moves.  Sodom and Gamorrah for the vole set.

Val starts to feel mighty at home in this den of vole sin and iniquity.  Maybe there’s even a large slug that rules the town with a dancing girl on a chain.  Maybe not, it’s been done.

But after a few months of getting smashed every night and screwing every pretty vole that wiggles her pointy nose at him, Valentino starts to thing there may be more to life than a hot piece of vole ass.  He needs love.  And another beer.  But then love.

He’s noticed one girl around town that doesn’t seem as loose as the others.  She’s shy and cute and sober.  Her name is Britqknee.  The Q and K are silent.  In this village, she’s the outcast because she doesn’t keep a pair of knee pads behind the bar like every other girl meadow vole in town.

Val sidles up to her one day on the street and offers to carry her groceries (since she only has short stubby vole arms) and walk her home.  It’s love at first sight.  But Val knows it won’t last for him because he’s hormonally deficient.   He swears to find a source of vasopressin and stay with her forever.

She knows a guy in her village that deals vasopressin on the sly.  He know fear of commitment is nothing that a little hormone and genetic therapy can’t help.  Because this is the scientific future, Val doesn’t have to go on some silly quest to get it.  He ponies up a credit card, gets a needs jabbed in his butt, and wanders off into the sunset with Britqknee back to his own village to live happily every after.

Ok, Disney… Get on that one.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

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This certainly won’t do Disney any damage.  I’m sure the vids are nothing like seeing the effects in person.  And from eyewitness accounts, there’s even much more going on that the camera didn’t see.  I was excited to get a glimpse though since I won’t see the real show until the fall sometime.

Take a peek…

What do you think of the show?  Personally I think it’s missing a storyline.  And some 3 dimensional aspects.  One of the things that makes Fantasmic interesting is the interspersing of real people/characters/dragons with the water and projection work.  And a story line to tie the thing together.  The plot of this show really seems to be “look what we can do!”

It’s some terrific eye candy though.  I’m still looking forward to seeing it in person, but I think there may still be some development to be done.  From what I hear they’re planning on updating it each year anyway.

Leave a comment below and let me know what you think of it!

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

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First off, I’ll say that I’ve never heard of Joe Wong before and I wasn’t exactly blown away by the clips I saw of him.  Apparently he got an appearance on Letterman that jumped him up a notch on the comedy circuit.  I’m sure Eddie Brill saw something worthwhile in him, so benefit of the doubt.  He even got to appear at the Radio and Television Correspondents’ Association dinner.

I’ve wondered how my own humor would play in Asia.  It did well in the UK when I was there.  Haven’t done the rest of Europe yet, but feedback from my fans in those areas has been good.  My Asian themed jokes do very well in front of Asian-American audiences, but I have no idea what would happen in a pure Asian setting.

American comedy is based in tragedy.  Especially personal tragedy.  And strangely enough, a Chinese audience just feels bad for you instead of laughing, according to the article.  Without self-deprecation, a lot of comics would be out in the cold.  And Joe Wong certainly works in the realm of self-deprecation and stereotype.

The article discusses China’s Cross-Talk style of comedy.  It’s kind of like old Vaudeville duo routines.  I’ve see it on the variety shows on the Chinese channels.  Unfortunately there’s no subtitles, so I still have no idea what the humor is like.  Though apparently it’s falling out of favor these days and younger audiences are getting into the solo standup style.  But with footnotes?  The comic has to explain why the joke is funny at the end?

It’s so counter-intuitive to what we learn to do here.  Not that I haven’t had some audiences that needed the explanation.  But it’s hard to wrap my brain around it.

I think it’s interesting though that humor is not universal.  Even from one region to the next you’ll get completely different responses.  Comedy is deeply embedded in each person’s individual psyche and the artist’s job is to find the bits that will connect with as many people as possible while still retaining an individual voice.

As an example, here’s a clip of mine about Disneyland (click to stream) Many of my fans are Disney people and it does great in front of them.  In front of a regular west coast or east coast audience it does well, but maybe doesn’t kill every time.  In the midwest… no-go.  It’s very hit and miss because they’re just not bombarded with Disney stuff as much as the coasts are.  It might work in Hong Kong though.

And that’s why I call the it the most dangerous art in the world.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

PS… Don’t forget your 8 free downloads! http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com/8-free-songs

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Keep in mind, I have no vested interest in any of these companies or whatever.  Must passing on the tips for my fellow Disney fans.

This post from Deal Seeking Mom has the lowdown.

- First get a $10 off coupon for the DVD/Blue Ray Combo pack straight from Disney.

- Then get a $5 rebate when you buy two Band-Aid products.

- Lastly, get a $5 rebate when you buy a roll of Frog Tape.

That gets you the Princess and the Frog for about $7!  Yay!

You’ll have to send the proof of purchase thingies, but photocopies of the receipts are ok.  Let me know if you see any better ones.

Ok, I promise to have something real to say on Monday’s post.

Phil Johnson

http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

Song Of The Day: Share My Pixie Dust (click to hear it)
Sometimes you fall in love with someone you weren’t expecting to. Maybe you wanted “rich and stable” and got “musician” instead. Relationships like that take faith, trust… and a little pixie dust.

PS… Since you’re here looking for freebies and discounts… Why don’t you get 8 of my songs for free at http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com/8-free-songs

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First off, The Wildhearts…  One of the greatest, most underrated rock bands of all time.  Equal parts Ramones and Beach Boys.  Super solid songwriting and arrangements to die for.  If you like great hard rock and don’t have “Earth Vs. The Wildhearts” you have missed out.  Check out “Suckerpunch”

On the not-so-underrated side is Prince.  I won’t say I love everything the guy does, but I do own everything he’s ever released, and happily.  He writes more gems in a day than I can in a year.  And while I love the funky stuff, my absolute favorite song of his is “Sometimes It Snows In April”.  Stunningly beautiful song.

You don’t get to looking like me unless you’re a Metallica fan at some point.  I’ll admit they’ve fallen out of my top 10 in the last few years, but Master Of Puppets was the first song I ever learned on the guitar.  Treat yourself to this one:

Throughout my Classical training years, I was really drawn to the Romantic composers, particularly Tchaikovsky.  Amazing how such a troubled man could write such happy sounding music.  The Nutcracker is fantastic, but take a listen to the Sleeping Beauty Waltz.

Let’s talk comedy… Greg Behrendt.  He’s upbeat, he’s positive, he’s energetic.  I was into his stuff the first time I heard it.  And to find out he’s a super nice guy is even better.  Warner Bros won’t let me embed this clip of him, but check out “Pictionary” – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGG3sBiQCWg

Eddie Izzard blows my mind every time.  First, I love his stuff because it’s not perfect.  He has no fear of throwing way too many tags at the audience until they stop working.  And any guy that do a whole hour of history jokes amazes me.  It’s smart and hilarious.  My favorite bit?  Darth Vader in the Death Star Cafeteria.

I’ve been a fan of Robin Williams since I was young.  His golf routine is some of the greatest 2 minutes of comedy ever written.

Chris Titus writes some of the most dangerous amazing comedy out there.  He can get so serious you can hear a pin drop in the theater and drop a huge punchline to bring it back.  He told me he calls it his “Springsteen Moment”.  Absolutely amazing.  I love his End Of The World Tour disc the best, but couldn’t find any clips online.  This is from Norman Rockwell is Bleeding.  Also great.

Anyone who knows me and doesn’t know I’m a Disney geek isn’t paying attention.  Walt always had this duality in his art of respect for the past (sanitized, yes, but it is entertainment after all) and always pushing forward into the future.  No matter what business or industry you’re in, storytelling is key.  And Walt and his crew were the best.  My favorites?  Captain Hook and Goofy.

And you can’t be a cartoon nut without liking the old Warner Bros stuff.  Daffy Duck as Robin Hood is my all-time favorite WB cartoon.  Buck and a quarter staff… Oh yeah.

I like to write visual music as much as possible, and I love movies.  Star Wars ranks right up there.  Yep, geek.  Deal with it.  I can watch Empire Strikes Back any time.

My other favorite movie is Eddie and The Cruisers.  If you haven’t seen it, get it from Netflix or something.  One of the most entertaining/over-the-top/cheesy rock n’ roll movies ever.  And fantastic music by John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band.

These are the influences that I absorb when I sit down to write.  Bits and pieces of each flow into what I do and become my own.  And to all these artists in my 3-th year, I say thank you.

Phil Johnson

http://www.RoadsideAttraction

PS… Suppose I should give you something of mine too…

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There’s no point in me actually reviewing the film.  I’m an unabashed Disney fan and there was only the most remote chance of me not liking this film.  I loved it.  I thought the animation was beautiful, the characters nicely developed, the songs as good as can be expected from Randy Newman.  I’m a Disney fan, but not a big fan of Randy Newman.  I had a great time.  All hail John Lasseter.

And guess what… that’s the point of the movie.  Having a good time.  I’ve been reading reviews of this film today.  Why?  Because apparently I like to read things that irritate me.  And often times, reading bad user submitted reviews is like visiting People Of Walmart.  They’re a train wreck.  You just can’t figure out how these people can manage to even turn a computer on let alone type the actual words that don’t make any sense anyway.

But I knew there would be discussion about this film so I was curious.

It wouldn’t have mattered what the character went through in this film, someone would bitch about it.  Disney’s first black leading lady becomes a frog.  One reviewer, and I’ll link to his blog just because it’s the right thing to do, wrote this: “Intentional or not, what kind of message does it send out that the studio’s first African-American princess has to be relegated for the vast majority of screen time to the form of an amphibian?”

What?  Basically… ‘Why the black girl gotta be a frog?”

Well, let’s see… If we put a black girl in some of Disney’s other classics…

Why the black girl gotta shack up with seven little men?
Why the black girl gotta have a big nose and lie all the time?
Why the black girl gotta have big ears and get drunk “accidentally”?
Why the black girl gotta be a cleaning girl who needs help from a fairy godmother?
Why the black girl gotta live in the jungle with a bear and a tiger?
See my point?

It wouldn’t have mattered what Disney first used a black leading lady in.  Because what people forget is that the lead character needs to have some sort of conflict or it’s not a story.  Writing 101, my friends.

Many people are saying that Disney glossed over the racial separations in the south at the time the film is set in.  Yes, they did.  And you know why?  Because it’s a Disney film.  And that wasn’t the point of the story.  The point of the story was that you can accomplish what you want if you work for it.  And sometimes you might need some help from friends.  Wow, what a terrible message.

If I wanted to see a dissertation on black rights in the south, I’d watch Roots again.  Disney wasn’t attempting to tackle that issue, and very intelligently stayed away from it because it wouldn’t matter what they did, it would have raised even more ire among the yapping idiots.

And yes, the plot and message is typical Disney.  First off, it’s a good message.  One that every generation needs to hear.  Just because you’ve heard it before doesn’t mean it’s not valid.  Plus Disney deals in modern fairy tales.  And if you read a fairy tale there is but one lesson to be learned from it.  It’s a fable, a parable.

Maybe they’d like to bitch that some of the stories in the bible have a simplistic message too?  Simple gets the point across.

This film has a purpose… entertainment and a positive message.  And it accomplishes that wonderfully.  It’s not supposed to be deeply intellectual or a commentary on society past and present.  Plenty of other movies for that.

The other thing that made my eyes roll are the writers that said the side characters were to “exaggerated” or “stereotypical”.  Newsflash… COMEDY IS SUPPOSED TO BE EXAGGERATED.  Inspector Clouseau wasn’t exaggerated all all, hmm?  Or Charlie Chaplin’s little tramp?  Or anything that ever came out of Robin Williams’s mouth?

And you’re going to tell me that regional accents are bad because they’re stereotypical?  People actually talk like that!  That’s realism!  If nobody had an accent, people would have complained that it was inauthentic.  Stereotypes (true ones) are used as a touchstone of realism for the setting.  Is Roots or The Color Purple an evil film because of the use of dialect?

It was bad that the villian voodoo practitioner was a black man?  How many white voodoo practitioners do you know?  If we don’t use stereotypes in storytelling, everything gets white washed.  Literally and figuratively.  But it seems people only get mad when it’s used for comic effect.

Remember this… especially if you ever come to see me perform.  Nothing is sacred.  Because if you can’t laugh at the most important things in your life, you’re taking yourself too seriously.

So, if you’re thinking about seeing this film, of wondering if it will damage your children or whatever, just go see it.  Enjoy it.  Stop thinking so damn much.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

PS… I’m not completely uncritical about Disney.  I have a broadly exaggerated (uh oh!) song about Disneyland as part of the 8 free songs you can get from me at http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com/8-free-songs

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