Elimination of the leap second could totally screw up Marty McFly's chances of getting back to 1985. How dare they even consider such a thing.

Apparently there is discussion afoot of eliminating the “leap second”.  That’s an extra second added to the clock once every year or two to accommodate the Earth’s bit of wobble.  The next one is due June 30th.  I will be throwing a leap second party at my house where I will invite guests in for exactly one second.  I won’t even need to clean the house because they won’t have time to notice the dust bunnies.

Some people want to eliminate the leap second because it means they have to shut their systems down for the length of a heartbeat.  In the words of Albert Einstein, “Aww, poor baby.”  Ok, maybe Einstein didn’t coin that phrase.  But he probably said it at some point.  Prove me wrong.

The reason for having the leap second is that it keeps the atomic clocks in line with the daily solar cycle.  Without it, noon  could occur while the sun is nowhere in sight… a thousand years from now.  Basically each century would get thrown out of wack by about 90 seconds.

Alright look… You people whining about shutting down your system for 1 freakin’ second once a year or so… Deal with it.  Your business won’t go bankrupt because you’re not plunging money from our pockets in that extra second.  And if we need to get rid of the leap second, let’s get rid of some other stuff that happens once a year, with far reaching effects, that I don’t like.  We can start with Tax Day, Black Friday sales, and new Lady Gaga videos.

On the flip side… Science is worried about the thousand year solar time shift that would happen.  As if sometime in the next thousand years we won’t come up with a better way to deal with the leap second.  The science community sure doesn’t have a lot of faith in themselves, do they?  How about a compromise?

Two ways to deal with that.  Plan A: Get rid of the leap second and put our an annual statement that nobody has figured out a better way to do it yet.  Sort of a “we’ll get to it next year” type thing.  Sometime in the next thousand years, someone will figure it out.  And the annual notice acts as a little reminder.  A scientific honey-do list.

Or Plan B: we stick with the leap second for the next 5 years while a few teams dig in and try to do it better, so the whiny business people don’t have to shut down for a second.  If we haven’t figured it out after 5 years, back to plan A.

Either way, don’t we have bigger issues to worry about?  I’m pretty sure there’s no guy looking at his post-cancer health bills totaling in the tens of thousands and thinking, “Boy that leap second sure is making life hard.”  As many different issues as were being raised during the Occupy demonstrations, I’ll bet nobody even mentioned the leap second.

My point is, if you have a strong opinion on either side of the leap second issue… just shut up already.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

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The problem is I can’t accomplish much else while I’m driving.  I can at least keep my brain engaged with podcasts and audiobooks.  But there’s so much else to do.

Besides writing and performing comedy and music, I also do film music and voiceover when the opportunities come up.  I also write guitar education articles for a variety of websites.  And I teach private music lessons whenever I’m in my hometown.  Just the ancillary activities (booking, promoting, scheduling, advertising, fan generation and engagement, etc) that go along with all those things are a full time job.

But there’s so much left to accomplish…
- writing a book (or 3)
- acting in a feature film
- voicing a character in an animated film
- writing a song for a Disney movie
- finding new ways to help people learn music
- presenting the kind of live show I really want to do (I’m not there yet)
- doing a podcast
- creating new videos on a regular basis
- being able to draw 2000 people per night for live performances

… and a hundred other things that pop randomly into my head.

So next time you see me and it looks like I haven’t had enough sleep or I’m trying to plow through a mile long to-do list, now you know where I’m headed.

I am seriously considering a patronage system of some sort.  A program that would allow people access to everything I’ve ever created, or will create in the future, for one low price.  I’m letting the idea rattle around my brain until I hit on the way that feels right to do it.  More updates to come.

Wanna be helpful?  There is nothing… and I mean nothing… like word of mouth.  If you enjoy the stuff I create in whatever form, please send your friends over to my website at http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com so they can get turned onto it too. Thanks!

~Phil

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Such as…

Homer's pulling down 100 G's, Pimp...

Nuclear Power Reactor Operator… Oh man.  The Simpson’s should have a much larger house then, shouldn’t they?  A hundred grand would go a long way in Springfield.  Or buy a lot of doughnuts.  It does say you’ll get a lot of on the job training.  I really really hope it’s well supervised on the job training.  Just remember, the guy in high school voted “most likely to go to prison for arson” could soon be running your local reactor.

Director Of Security… I think we’re already seeing a pattern of “if you’ll put your life in danger, we’ll over look that you don’t have a college degree.”  Other jobs I’m now expecting to see: Alligator Wrestler, Bike Messenger, and Drug Mule For Lindsay Lohan.

Licensed Massage Therapist… They say hiring will go up as more people learn the benefits of massage.  Maybe it’s just here in California, but every other person I know is training to be a massage therapist.  There will be no shortage of places to get a rub down.  They’ll be like Starbucks.  In fact, I’m pretty sure there will be a Starbucks inside each one.  And does the job pay more or less with a happy ending?

Elevator Mechanic… Ok, that’s a job that nobody ever even thinks about.  I guess I always figured there were just little elevator trolls that kept the things going.  This is probably the hidden gem on this list.  Yahoo says, “You really move up in this career.”  Stop it Yahoo.

Court Reporter… If you love TMZ and can’t get enough of CSPAN (does that person exist?) you can learn how to type all that shorthand and be privy to every word spoken in a court room.  I’ll bet you’d be wicked fast sending phone texts too.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

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Like he says, “free” isn’t new and isn’t going away.  But the distance between those who get things for free and those that pay for them is getting further apart.  Of course, anyone who deals in intellectual property has concerns about that.  But even those who develop physical products will be concerned soon as 3D printers start to make their way further into reality.

I guess it’s fortunate that we haven’t really been able to digitize human contact yet.  It’s still more enjoyable to actually go to a live show than watch it on YouTube.  But we are having to make sure that the whole process is streamlined (parking, food, ticketing) and still within an appropriate price range (which many shows aren’t).  In other words, it has to be easier, not necessarily cheaper, to leave the house and enjoy something physical.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

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Comics are known for taking stage time anywhere and everywhere.  An audience is our best friend.  Plus we get better the more we’re on stage.  And we’re just addicted.  But we do ourselves a lot of damage by doing some of these really bad gigs.  And yes, I’ve seen and/or participated in all of the above.

Particularly America’s Got Talent.  As C&S says, it’s a comedy ambush.  Comics are brought on to be ridiculed and you’ll see in the video that the audience lays into this guy from the first words out of his mouth.  He manages to save the day, but I’m not sure it does anything from his career.  We’ve all wanted to say those things to some audiences.

Not only do shows like this teach their audience to be utterly disrespectful to the performers, that crap drifts into the real world too.  A lot of people don’t know the difference and they think it’s ok to boo and heckle a performer during a show.  Newsflash… it’s not ok.

I agree with Becky, comedy is not given the respect as an art form that it deserves.  You’ll see the douchy British judge (another one, really?) say he’s tired of comedians saying they have the hardest job among performers.

Well, I’ll tell you… I performed music as a featured act, background music and pit musician.  I’ve acted on film.  I’ve done TV.  There is no more dangerous and difficult performing art than comedy.  You have to guarantee constant laughs (the industry standard is a laugh every 7-10 seconds).  You have a script, but you’re expected to be able to go off it and react to the room at the drop of a hat.   Let’s see Mr. British Judge do that.

So like Becky, I’d like to invite all comics to stop doing these ridiculous shows.  What about Last Comic Standing, you ask?  Ditto… Making comics wait in line over night on the sidewalk for a two minute (maybe) audition is not cool.  Putting up Craigslist posts asking for the “wackiest, craziest acts!” and then putting them on TV just to ridicule them.  Not cool.  It’s a freak show.

Yeah, they get down to some good ones.  But like American Idol, it’s a very small, non-representative cross section of the comedy world.  Like music, comedy has a lot of different flavors and styles and that’s just one of them.

So comics, go on shows that respect your artistry.  And audience members… be nice.  We’re working to entertain you, but you have to go along for the ride.

Here’s the vid:

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

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In short, many people have floated the idea that a music artist can make a livable wage with 1000 “true fans”.  The figuring being that these true fans will spend about $100 a year with the artist via shows, music, specialty items, etc.

Jeremy Schlosberg’s article linked above makes a point that by focusing on the super fan, the casual fan will be left out, uninterested, and usually completely unaware of an artist.

Current indie music industry thinking goes like this: Give the music away.  You can sell CDs to the people that want them.  But you should also have bigger packages and special items.  Like when film studios offer the double DVD set will a bazillion extras and behind the scenes stuff.  Music artists are supposed to put out big sets with remixes, demo tracks, live tracks, extra songs, special packaging, etc.

Beyond that, we’re supposed to be in constant contact with everyone via email, facebook, twitter, youtube, video, audio, and text.

Jeremy’s point is that the casual fan doesn’t want all that stuff.  They just want the songs.  And so pushing all the extra stuff on them will just make them go away to a less pressured situation.

And that makes sense from a consumer point of view.  Anyone who reads my blogs knows I’m a huge Disney geek.  But did I buy the new version of Snow White?  Nope.  Why?  I’ve got the movie already and it looks fine.  I don’t need video games to go with it.  I’ve already seen just about every extra they could offer on other versions.  The movie is from 1928.  How many more interviews can there be?  And really, you’re only going to watch that stuff once, right?

Let’s take a band.  I love Metallica.  I learned how to play guitar listening to Master Of Puppets.  Last year when they started their subscription service I signed up for the free part.  Downloaded a couple of the free concerts.  Didn’t join the paid version.  And I haven’t been back in months. I did buy their new CD though.

Keep in mind, this is a band that I adore.  But I don’t need 100 live recordings of Sanitarium.  And I don’t need a Metallica toaster cozy or whatever little side items they’re offering.

So even though I’m an engaged fan that listens to the band regularly and will see them live when I can afford it, they’re certainly not making $100 from me each year.

And as an artist I sometimes have a problem with this stuff.  I really try to concentrate on the quality of the music I release.  That means a lot of songs don’t make it to the public eye.  Yes, I could release a song every two weeks.  But it may not be a very good song.  My average output is 3-4 songs a year, plus 5-10 comedy bits.  And since I’m not working in an improvised style of music like jazz or blues, the songs are going to sound fairly similar from show to show.  So putting out a bunch of live tracks seems lame to me.  And since I’m not a fan of being cooped up in a recording studio, I record only what’s going on the next release.  So there’s not a bunch of unreleased stuff sitting around.

I’ve worked a long time to not put out garbage.  And now it’s recommended that I release everything I’ve ever put to tape and keep it coming regularly to keep people engaged.

How many of you have Prince’s 5 disc Crystal Ball collection?  If you don’t, you can usually get it pretty cheap.  Why?  Because there’s a lot of junk on there.  I kind of like it because I’m interested in his artistic process.  And I’m a HUGE fan of his work.  But still, a lot of it is crap.  And I certainly don’t put on regularly.  And get this…. It DIMINISHED my interest in him.  Even with my interest in his artistic process, something in the back of my brain said, “this isn’t very good and I should be listening to a better artist.”

So I think the idea of putting out junky tracks subconsciously hurts the listener.

Then there’s the idea of premium offerings.  For big acts that means the DVD/CD combo pack in a display worthy box including a 30 page booklet and signed photo.  Obviously a pretty expensive way to go from a manufacturing standpoint.  For smaller acts it means things like hand decorated CD cases, or like Amanda Palmer, auctioning off your clothes and stuff via twitter and ustream.

What the heck does that have to do with music?  People are interested in my music.  Who cares if I can decorate a CD case?  Nobody says to a painter, “Hey that painting is good.  You should give it away.  But first, write a song to go with it and sell that instead.”

If I wanted to spend my time designing t-shirts and bags and such, I’d have become a fashion designer.

So here’s my plan.  I’m going to work even harder to write more quality material and release it more often.  I’m going to do my best to stay in touch with any many people as I can.  And any side items I release will be because I think they’re creatively and extension of my work that makes sense.

And I won’t be aiming for 1000 true fans.  I’ll be aiming for a million fans of any sort.  Aim for the stars and hit the side of the house.

I gotta go write some songs now.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com

PS… I would like to give you a taste of my work.  And I’m giving away 8 free songs to you to show you what I can do.  If you’d like to hear them, go to http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com/8-free-songs

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The E-Myth Revisited is not an artist-centered book.  It’s for entrepreneurs.  Or, more importantly, people who think they’re entrepreneurs, but are really just stuck in a job they’ve designed for themselves.  The book looks at why so many small businesses don’t survive.  That subject by itself isn’t very useful though.

Michael Gerber goes on to show you how to design a business from the ground up that is independent of it’s owner.  A system that allows the owner to be an owner and not a worker.  Not that you’d spend the rest of your life on vacation.  But your business would run itself while you take care of important things.

I’ve got the audiobook version that I listen to during my morning walk.  And I’m starting my 2nd listen.  This is the type of book that you read once, then go back and read again, stopping to accomplish each of the steps laid out for you.

One thing I find in a lot of small business books is that they don’t answer the questions that pop up in my mind while I’m reading them.  Michael Gerber must be a mind reader.  Everytime a question or objection popped into my head, he was answering it in the next couple minutes.  Kind of creepy at times.

So, if you’re looking to develop a business that doesn’t involve you being directly involved every single day, give this book a go.  And, as a companion, read The Four Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferris.   It will show you how to make Mr. Gerber’s principles work in a modern environment.  They compliment each other perfectly.

Phil Johnson
www.RoadsideAttraction.com

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