The other day I saw a sex shop that went out of business. You know life is difficult when you can’t sell enough blow up party sheep and “back massagers” to feed your kids.
Apparently when the economy is down people forgo sex toys and porn DVDs and go back to buying cucumbers and spying on the neighbors. Doing things the old fashioned way.
I think part of the problem is that they screwed up a lot of their repeat customers. Because you can now buy a 3 DVD set that features 24 straight hours of porn.
Before buying this set you should have to register yourself with Megan’s Law.com and be forced to notify your neighbors.
Nobody needs 24 hours of porn. By about hour 9 it’s got to start feeling like Groundhog Day. “Puxatawney Phil has seen his shadow and it’ll be another 13 hours of fake boobs and pudgy men.”
By hour 13 you’re going “I wonder if those flowers in the background are tulips or gladiolas.”
But I suppose you’re not supposed to watch the whole thing in one shot. If the guy that buys that comes back in the next day for more, he simply needs his hands cut off at the wrist. He’s putting the abuse in self-abuse. He needs medication. And a girlfriend.
And if you were actually spend 24 hours with a porn dvd, you would be horribly disfigured by the end. And probably dehydrated.
That’s no playing around. That’s marathon status. You should be asking your neighbors to pledge money for charity if you’re going to go that far. Tie a pink ribbon around it. Do it for breast cancer. Make it an event: Beating For Boobies.
Because most guys aren’t going to get through 24 hours. Most guys are done before the opening credits are finished.
“Butt Bangers 12…. Starring…” – and done, that’s it.
If you figure an average of 2 minutes per round, 24 hours would net you 720 rounds. That’s going to last a guy at least six months. Unless he’s out of work. Then maybe 14 days.
24 hours of porn? How many scenes is that? 22% of the American population would have to be in the movie. Unless, of course, it’s 24 hours of one couple. That might be funny. Him all out of breath. Her talking on the phone waiting for him to finish. Him needing a glass of orange juice to recharge. Her reading Cosmo.
Just like every other DVD, these often come with a director/actor commentary. Just in case you really want to get the inside scoop on what the actors and crew were thinking during the filming.
“We cut a scene out here because we didn’t feel it was moving the plot along fast enough. And Stacy’s tits looked lopsided.”
Actress: “Umm, yeah.. Right here when Steve is plugging my ass, I was really trying to bring out a deeper understanding of the character’s battle with her internal demons. Almost like an emotional race for time between her coming of age and Steve cumming on her face.”
Is there really a need for extras at all on a porn video? Behind the scenes? Isn’t the whole thing behind the scenes? Shouldn’t the only extra feature on a porn DVD be… more porn?
Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com
The reason isn’t 24 hr compilation dvds. Its because there’s so much that the value is decreasing particularly when stores have to get rid of old material for new material. I’ve been binging in these stores for five years now and managers have to liquidate the dvds and give me discounts. Time has gone buy and the demand turns elsewhere they start to loose out. DVDs sales on the internet like auction sites are even lower as used or distributors, or dvdr (I won’t buy dvdr). DVDs for $30-$40 can be bought online for $7-$10 used or whse sellers. The three stores that I know of closed this past year (loxley AL, newport news VA,) sold DVDs at high prices. Houston stores are hanging in there but I don’t think for too long, same with NOLA. New York is also liquidating dvds.