Pictured here is Osama bin… uh, I mean Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty.

I woke yesterday morning to a giant brouhaha about Phil Robertson’s comments about gay people in a GQ interview.

Ok, first off, GQ stands for Gentleman’s Quarterly.  It’s a style and advice, manly man type of magazine.  The kind of guy that polishes his shoes, drinks fine brandy, and thinks women respond to pickup lines. What the hell were they doing interviewing Yosemite Sam about his duck call show?

Let me be clear about one thing.  I’ve never watched Duck Dynasty.  Never plan to. If you’re a fan of the show, we might not be able to be friends anymore.  Nor have I read the whole GQ interview. The fact that this “story” reached my awareness at all kind of irritates me.  I’m ashamed to share a first name with the man.

But it’s really the public that’s irritating me on this one.  If the plan is to put a bunch of redneck yahoos on TV just to watch them argue with each other, they’re eventually going to say something stupid.  That’s what you put them on TV for.  To say stupid things.  If you don’t let the puppy outside, it’s going to pee in the house.

Both sides turned this non-story into a story.  The left got uppity because he said things they didn’t like about gay people.  The right got all Christian-uppity because the left didn’t like it.  And many of them agreed with him.

And truthfully, if you take the Christian rhetoric out of the statement, all he really said was that vaginas are awesome and he doesn’t understand how a man could be gay.  Ok, good for him.  He doesn’t get it and he’s aware of it.  And he’s right. Vaginas are awesome. 

As someone who has gay friends and pays attention to the world, I understand gay men.  It’s not a choice, it’s who they are.  Phil Robertson doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy that would read an article about what brain chemistry makes a man gay vs. straight.  So he’s ignorant about it. 

Apparently he’s a devout Christian.  Fine for him.  He and I won’t be hanging out anytime soon.  I avoid people like that like a biblical plague.  I don’t enjoy dealing with anyone that feels they need to push their religious views on others, no matter the religion.  BUT, if you’re going to put the dude on TV and interview him and ask him questions, how is he expected to answer?  You’ve given him a platform!

As any comedian will tell you, if you’re offended by what’s being said in a show, you’re welcome to not watch the show.  Or, if you’re entertained by the ignorance of others, feel free to watch, but remember that you’re the one supporting their platform.

He’s a regular dude who happens to have a TV show.  It doesn’t make his opinion more important than anyone else’s.  It’s not going to change anyone’s mind about their thoughts on gay people.

Ooh! I just had an idea… Ready?  It’s a deep one… Don’t listen to opinions of any celebrity unless it’s a top they know about.  Shocker!  If you have a question about acting, talk to Tom Hanks.  If you have a question about international adoption, talk to Angelina Jolie.  If you have a question about making duck calls, talk to Phil Robertson.  If you have a question about demeaning yourself in public, talk to Miley Cyrus.  Other than that, ignore everyone’s opinion and form your own based on resources that actually know what they’re talking about.

Deal?

Now I have to go take a really hot shower to cleanse the feeling of having written about this garbage…