Neck Ties Suck

I was reading an interview with someone once (totally can’t remember who) and he said one of this goals in life was to never have to wear a neck tie.  Amen brother.

I’ve kept to that myself over the years.  When I was kid, I had a couple of those clip-on jobbies.  And I had to learn how to tie one in the cub scouts.  I guess they figured after we got rid of that lame neckerchief we’d be on to some other throat throttling apparatus.

And once I learned how to tie one, I promptly forgot.  Learned a couple more times over the years and misplaced that memory every time.  It just wasn’t meant to be.  Besides, lack of a tie wasn’t going to keep me out of a corporate job.  I have hair down to my butt.

Which is why I wonder why criminals always wear a tie to court.  Is it that much of a social trigger that they think it will help get them off?  Does a tie trump a murder charge and a neck tattoo?

According to societal mores, a neck tie says “upstanding’, just like a crown says “royalty” and a lower back tattoo says “slut”.

If I don’t wear a neck tie to your wedding, it doesn’t mean I think any less of you.  It just means I don’t like a ball of fabric crushing my trachea.

I will say this though.  Neck ties are the one concession to fashion discomfort that men make.  Women have to wear all kinds of crazy crap.

When you picture a businessman coming home from work, what’s the first they he does?  Loosens the tie.  And a businesswoman?  She kicks off those ridiculous high heels and then does that crazy magic bra removal thing that made even Houdini say “Amazing!”.

So yep, women have to wear uncomfortable stuff.  But I didn’t want to play that part of the man game.  So I found a job that requires looking interesting more than upstanding. 🙂

Oh, and an interesting resource I found.  “Christians Against Neckties” – a group on Facebook.  Finally, something we can agree on!

Phil Johnson

Other Blogs On This Subject


Neck Ties Suck — 2 Comments

  1. I’ve received many compliments from the ladies when wearing a necktie. Do I wear one all the time? No, but I know when it’s appropriate and I do it the right way.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *