NASA Finds A New Planet – Kepler 22b – For Earthlings To Lust After

A NASA scientist explains how she likes to hold the spoon when eating cereal. She was quickly reprimanded for straying from the topic.

In the toughest real estate search ever known, NASA has finally found a new planet that resembles Earth.  It’s only 600 light years away, so you can pack light.  Mostly because you’ll be dead before you get there.  That really makes the trip seem shorter.

They say the temperature averages 72 degrees.  Just like Southern California.  Let’s just hope that whatever lives there hasn’t discovered Botox and fake boobs yet.

It’s also much bigger than Earth, 2.4 times larger in radius.  That will give us so much more land to fight over when we get there!

Though, for some reason, its solar year is only 290 days instead of 365 due to its distance from its sun.  Man, their holiday shopping season must start in like, June.

If there are actually intelligent beings on another planet, with technology at a similar state of advancement, it seems possible that they’ve already seen us too.  They just don’t know how to get here yet.  When we all figure that one out, I hope our ship passes theirs with neither noticing the other.  When the aliens land on Earth we mistake them for our own astronauts returning and changed.  And the whole thing becomes a comedy of mistaken identity like a bad episode of Three’s Company.

If I’m ever in a beauty pageant, I’ll use that as my ‘greatest wish’ in the question and answer segment.

Phil Johnson

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