Now, I understand that potheads are often delusional. But the people that made this list must have really been toking some of the good stuff. My girlfriend gets really bad migraines. Her friend sent her this page from a medical marijuana site that lists all the things that pot has been used as a treatment for.
Here’s the list: http://mmecmedicine.com/all-ailments.html
Let’s take a look at some examples…
Genital Herpes – I’m willing to bet that pot has been responsible more for the spread of genital herpes than the cure.
Heptitis – Ditto…
Cancer – You mean we’ve been having benefit shows and wearing pink ribbons all this time and all we needed was to get them stoned? Amazing.. I’m sure it’s just “the man” suppressing that news from the masses.
Obesity – Yeah, cuz pot doesn’t lead to eating. No sir.
Writers’ Cramp – Ok, writers’ block maybe…
Alcoholism – Well, way to swap one addiction for another genius.
Tobacco Dependence – Umm… Still smoking, no?
Stuttering – What’s the difference? You still won’t be able to speak in coherent sentences.
Nightmares – Well there’s everybody’s in for a prescription.
Brain Trauma – Nothing like killing a few brain cells to help out with brain trauma.
Paraplegia – It grows limbs back!?
Limbic Rage Syndrome – No idea what this is. But it sounds like a great name for a band.
Emphysema – See Tobacco Dependence above.
Constipation – Apparently a lot of fiber in that weed.
Ureter Spasm Calculus – Once again, great band name.
Vaginal Pain – Maybe there’s other things she might be thinking about to avoid that pain, hmm?
Cerebral Aneurism – “Hurry! Smoke this before you die!”
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome – Oh, yeah. Weed always gives you lots of energy to go out an conquer the world.
Cough – Really? Have you ever heard a pothead cough? I have and it’s not pretty.
I wish I had a medical degree so I could understand what the rest of the afflictions on that page are. But you can feel better knowing that if you have any affliction at all, or have slept, or have a habit of breathing on a regular basis, you too can get a prescription for the miracle drug called Wacky Weed.