Interview With Creator Of World’s Largest Latke

Today we’re interviewing a man by the name of Hershel Benkowitz who recently created the world’s largest latke for last year’s Hanukkah celebration.

Q: Mr. Benkowitz, what was your motivation for preparing the world’s largest latke?

B: Well, my mother said I’d never amount to anything and I wanted to show her I could do something spectacular.  Plus I had some extra potatos I wanted to use before they went bad.

Q: I see.  So it was for the fame and the love of your mother?

B: And to use up the potatoes.

Q: Yes, of course.  And I imagine you must have a very large family to eat your giant latke?

B: Well, no.  I’m an only child and never married.

Q: Ah, but your mother will be joining you, of course.

B: No, my mother recently got remarried to her Mexican pool boy and moved to Mexico City.

Q: Ok.  Is it hard for her to be Jewish in Mexico?

B: I don’t know.  I haven’t heard from her in 3 years.  In her last letter she briefly mentioned converting to Catholicism so she can eat the shrimp coming in off the coast.

Q: So, Mr. Benkowitz, tell us how you constructed your masterpiece.  You obviously don’t have a pan 45 feet wide.

B: No, of course not.  I made section of the latke one at a time  and laid them out end to end.  I tried sewing them together with thread, but it didn’t work very well.  So I opted for plastic cement flavored with basil and olive oil.

Q: Wonderful.  And where can the public view this amazing dish?

B: In my back yard.

Q: Outdoors?  Have you had any problems with the local wildlife eating it?

B: No, but a few birds have created nests in it.  A brood of sparrows just hatched in the northeast corner last week.  And a few flys have gotten to it as well.  So there are a few maggots in parts of it.

Q: And so what will you do with the latke when public interest has waned?

B: Throw it in the trash.

Q: Really?

B: Yes.

Q: You’re going to take 700 pounds of potatoes and all your hard work and just toss it?

B: Yes.

Q: Well, that’s kind of wasteful, don’t you think?

B: But who would want to eat it with the bird droppings and maggots and baby spider sacs?

Q: I’ll have you know Mr. Benkowitz that maggots are high in protein and considered a delicacy in some third world countries.  And you are going to simply throw the whole thing out!?  Mr. Benkowitz, you area a wretched little man who will amount to nothing in the world.

B: Have you been talking to my mother?

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