If Scientology Became As Big As Christianity

Scientology is, to put it mildly, not cool.  Let me put it this way… I have a couple relatives on their “enemy list”.

But when you see it at malls and in downtown neighborhoods, you can see it creeping into the mainstream.


Top Ten:

What if Scientology became as big as Christianity?

  1. Everyone would be wearing little alien head necklaces instead of crosses
  2. There would be L. Ron Hubbard books in every hotel room
  3. Christmas would be renamed Xenumas
  4. We’d have treatment exchanges instead of Christmas presents
  5. They would spend their money on huge ornate churches and then pacify the homeless outside with a bowl of soup… Oh wait, that already happens.
  6. We’d have a holiday where we hide colored eggs, and we still wouldn’t know what the connection is
  7. The pope would have a jet instead of a pope-mobile
  8. Instead of Mel Gibson, John Travolta would get in trouble for hating Jews
  9. Hollywood would replace Rome as the world seat of religion
  10. Celebrities would have to take over the molesting of altar boys.

By the way, if you want to get all of Scientology’s “secrets” without paying your life savings for them, check out www.Xenu.net

Phil Johnson

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