Giant Penis Attacks Tokyo

Call it what you want. Texas just got tea-bagged.

I got a spam email for some penis enlargement pills the other day.  And the subject line said “Don’t be alarmed when it doesn’t stop growing.”

I think it’s safe to say that I would be awfully damned alarmed if it didn’t stop growing.  You CAN have too much of a good thing.

Ladies, if you thought guys were just one big dick before… Wait til they have one that never stops growing.

It’s like a bad episode of the Twilight Zone. <Cue Rod Serling> “A man takes a pill to send him and his girl to the heights of pleasure.  Instead it sends them to… The Twilight Zone.”

There’s a possibility of, while sleeping, getting tangled in it and suffocating.  You’re supposed to strangle it.  Not the other way around.

At first you could just throw it over your shoulder.  But eventually you’d have to wheel it around on one of those things you roll a garden hose on.  And I don’t know about you, but my garden always always has a kink in it even on the roll-y thing.

I really don’t want my penis to attack Tokyo.
“Giant wee wee attacking!  It go ‘ppt ppt’ and cover Tokyo in white gooey!”

But the good part is when you die they’ll be able to cut it and count the rings to see how old you are.

 

 

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