Discount Flu Shots

I drove past a Rite Aid this morning and they had a sign out for $24.99 flu shots.  I have no idea if that’s a good price for a flu shot or not.  But the pricing scheme of $X.99 is a trick to reel in bargain hunters.  Much like the “9/10” added to gas prices.

Maybe though, a flu shot isn’t the best thing to bargain hunt for, ya think?  They’re injecting the virus into you.  It’s dead, of course.  But I don’t think I’d really want to cut corners.  You want to make sure it’s dead.  If one of those little viruses hid behind a trash can and escaped the virus death camp… boom, you’ve wasted $24.99 and a week of sick days.

And if you’re really looking for a bargain flu shot, I’m sure the guy on the corner can hook you up.  Sure, it might be cut with baby powder.  But at least you saved a few bucks.

Side effects of the flu shot (even the expensive ones) include soreness at the site of the injection, muscle aching, fever, and feeling unwell. First of all, that sounds just like… the flu!  What they’re really saying is “Give us $24.99” and you might not get the flu.  And you can’t ask for a refund.  It’s all right there in the side effects list.

I’m putting up a new sign at my comedy shows: “Possible side effects include lack of laughter, asshole tightening, and loss of will to live.  No refunds.”

Second thing, isn’t “feeling unwell” just a little general?  Couldn’t that pretty much be a side effect of just about anything from a flu shot to a Wendy’s Triple Baconator?

I think I’m going to go vaccinate myself with a bacon cheese Whopper and be done with it.

Phil Johnson

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