Clothing Sizes

We, as a people, take great joy in being punished and punishing others.

Guys are obvious about it.  They’ll walk into a boxing ring or a football game with the intention of beating each other up.  In extreme situations men simply blow each other up.

Women, however, are more cunning and devious when punishing other women.  They open clothing stores.  A place where women go to be mentally demeaned by polyester and spandex garments made in Indonesia.

The sizes alone are designed to create competition.  A size 8 girl, wants to be a size 5, wants to be a size 2.

And with a size zero, shouldn’t she just disappear at that point?  Just be a two-dimensional being?

Number sizes don’t work so well for guys.  We’re used to competing for higher numbers.

“I’ve got a 16 ton truck, I batted a .330 in college, and I wear a size 42 dress.”

Guy sizes are easy and non-competitive.  Small, medium, large, extra large.  Ok, except for small, maybe.  Small is rarely a good word to use in reference to men.  Remember that ladies.  Do not call anything we may posses or be attached to, small or cute.

But the rest are fine.  Medium is simply average size.  Cool.  Large is a big man.  Extra large is a really big man.  We can create good mental connotations for any of these.

And then they make the women’s sizes even worse by apparently making them for midgets or possibly small dogs.  I think we’re getting closer to the size number being equal to the garment in centimeters.

Phil Johnson

Song of the Day: You Make Me Feel (Like I Can Do Anything)
A love song to my audiences… When I get in front of a good audience, they make me feel like I could accomplish anything… Even things that probably should not be accomplished for my own health.

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