It’s that time of year again where stores open for longer hours and people go to great depths of debt and sleeplessness to create “joy”.

And to accompany all that strfesstivity?  (I made up a word! Yay!)  The constant trickle of badly covered Christmas songs.

Back when I worked in grocery stores, I had to spend the last two months of every year listening to the worst versions of every Christmas song over those tinny, horrible grocery store speakers.

BUT, I knew that the people that wrote those songs were raking their yearly wages into extra large hefty bags to take to the bank.  And I decided that one day I’d write a Christmas song and get myself a helping of that money.

And so far I’ve written 3 Xmas songs that will never…. ever…. be played in a grocery store, bank, or S&M den.  Okay, maybe that last one might play them.  But there’s not enough of them to build up enough royalties to make it worthwhile.

So since you won’t be able to hear these songs while you’re shopping for your frozen turkey, you’ll just have to check them out here.

I present to you….

Christmas Music For People Who Hate Christmas Music

I did a video for that last one that you can watch below.