Bad Economy Hits The Porn Biz

I saw a sad sign of our economy the other day.  A sex store going out of business.

You know life is difficult when you can’t sell enough blow up party sheep and “back massagers” to feed your kids.

Apparently when the economy is down, people forgo sex toys and porn DVDs and go back to buying cucumbers and spying on the neighbors.  Doing things the old fashioned way.

Here’s where I think they went wrong.  You can buy 3 DVD sets featuring a full 24 hours of porn.  That’s going to mess up your repeat customers.

Nobody needs 24 hours of porn.  By about hour 9 it’s got to start feeling like Groundhog Day.  “Puxatawney Phil has seen his shadow and it’ll be another 13 hours of fake books and pudgy overweight men with money.”

By hour 13 you have to start thinking, “I wonder where he got that watch.  That’s a nice watch.”

With porn, you shouldn’t have to use military time to differentiate when you started and when you ended.

But I guess you’re not supposed to watch the whole thing in one shot.  If the guy that buys that comes back in the next day for more, he needs his hands cut off at the wrist.  He’s putting the “abuse” in self abuse.  And he needs medication.  And a girlfriend.

Anyone who buys one of these DVD sets should have to notify their neighbors and register at MegansLaw.com

Because most guys don’t need 24 hours.  Most guys are done before the opening credits are finished.

If you figure an average of 2 minutes per round, 24 hours would net you 720 rounds.  That’s going to last a guy at least 6 months.  Unless he’s out of work.  Then maybe 14 days.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com <– Go grab your free download of the week!

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