7 Scholarly Science Articles Re-Titled For The Internet

scienceInternet journalism is becoming more and more like baby food.  Easy to digest and chock full of 14 vitamins and inaccuracies.

It’s only a matter of time before serious scientific research is forced to do the same.  So I’m helping them get ahead of the curve.

 

These 7 original headlines are courtesy of Science. I have Buzzfeedified and Crackified them for modern human consumption.

Sorry.

Genomic evidence for the Pleistocene and recent population history of Native Americans” jeans-380280_1280
22 Crazy Genes That Could Make the Difference Between Owning a Casino and Living in Siberia!
“Observation of many-body localization of interacting fermions in a quasirandom optical lattice” Rihanna13 Dangerous Disorders You Might Pick Up In One Dimension… You’ll Never Guess What Rihanna Has To Say About It!
(Rihanna has nothing to say about it.)
“Localization-delocalization transition in the dynamics of dipolar-coupled nuclear spins” SweetPeaMissExoticWorld2006

11 Bodies That Get Naked And Dizzy When They’re Off Their Dipolar Meds

“Atom-interferometry constraints on dark energy” Star_wars_Characters

18 Ways Dark Energy Rocks Your Universe… Use the Fifth Force, Luke!

“Exclusion of leptophilic dark matter models using XENON100 electronic recoil data” Mileena_cosplayer_Amazing_Arizona

9 Ways Dark Matter Gets Freaky With Leptons Even When ‘Ol Lept’y Says “Hell No!

“A general consumer-resource population model” Darlingtonia_californica_ne8

14 Ways Your Food Is Eating You!

“Salicylic acid modulates colonization of the root microbiome by specific bacterial taxa” Björk_performing_at_Cirque_en_Chantier_1_edit

5 Acid-Tripping Mutant Plants That’ll Give You A Real Gut Check

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