Internet journalism is becoming more and more like baby food. Easy to digest and chock full of 14 vitamins and inaccuracies.
It’s only a matter of time before serious scientific research is forced to do the same. So I’m helping them get ahead of the curve.
These 7 original headlines are courtesy of Science. I have Buzzfeedified and Crackified them for modern human consumption.
Sorry.
| “Genomic evidence for the Pleistocene and recent population history of Native Americans” |  22 Crazy Genes That Could Make the Difference Between Owning a Casino and Living in Siberia! |
| “Observation of many-body localization of interacting fermions in a quasirandom optical lattice” |  13 Dangerous Disorders You Might Pick Up In One Dimension… You’ll Never Guess What Rihanna Has To Say About It!(Rihanna has nothing to say about it.) |
| “Localization-delocalization transition in the dynamics of dipolar-coupled nuclear spins” | 
11 Bodies That Get Naked And Dizzy When They’re Off Their Dipolar Meds |
| “Atom-interferometry constraints on dark energy” | 
18 Ways Dark Energy Rocks Your Universe… Use the Fifth Force, Luke! |
| “Exclusion of leptophilic dark matter models using XENON100 electronic recoil data” | 
9 Ways Dark Matter Gets Freaky With Leptons Even When ‘Ol Lept’y Says “Hell No! |
| “A general consumer-resource population model” | 
14 Ways Your Food Is Eating You! |
| “Salicylic acid modulates colonization of the root microbiome by specific bacterial taxa” | 
5 Acid-Tripping Mutant Plants That’ll Give You A Real Gut Check |