7 Innocent Words That Turn Women On

If only it were this easy....

I was surfing last night (yes, on a perfectly legitimate site), and there was this ad for “7 Innocent Words That Turn Women On”.  “Well,” I thought to myself, “In the interests of science and psychology, I should check this out.”

They claim you can use a few normal little words in a perfectly innocent context and have a woman panting and naked in no time.  Suuuuuure….

But hey, let’s check it out, shall we?  Apparently there’s a right way and wrong way to do this.

Right Way: (When she comes in from the rain…) Oh, you’re so wet.
Wrong Way: I think I just wet my pants

Right Way: (When talking about feelings and emotions…) And how does that make you feel, deep inside?
Wrong Way: … and that’s when I left her floating face down in the deep end of the pool.

Right Way: (When you’re waiting for her to come over to your house…” I can’t wait for you to come.
Wrong Way: Come.  Heel.  Sit.  Stay.

Right Way: (When she’s talking about a challenge she’s facing…) Do you like it when it’s hard?
Wrong Way: Do you have any money?  I’m a little hard up.

Right Way: (When you’re giving her food…) Here, just put it in your mouth.
Wrong Way: (When you’re giving her a GHB spiked drink…) Here, just put it in your mouth.

Right Way: (When she says something that makes you happy…) You make me so happy.  You make me feel warm inside when I’m with you.
Wrong Way: I’m leaving you locked inside until you stop screaming.

Right Way: (When her ice cream is starting to melt…) Baby, you’re dripping all over yourself.
Wrong Way: This medicine I’m taking causes anal leakage.  I’m constantly dripping all over.

There it is boys and girls… Talk to your lady in the right way and get lucky.  Talk to her in the wrong way and get a restraining order.  The choice is yours.

Phil Johnson

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7 Innocent Words That Turn Women On — 9 Comments

  1. Movie was funny as hell, and these words are interesting enough. LOL Im single now, What do I have to lose Im gonna give the hat trick a shot. Might end up with some bad porno sex……who knows

  2. well considering the whole idea is based around the girl not knowing ur hitting on her and subliminal messages that make her think about sex in anyway. and since you know what its about right now…no it wouldn’t work on you this is actually explained on other websites.

    • You’re right, it wouldn’t work on me. Because I’m a male. And they’re supposed to be horrible choices of words. Because I’m a comedian. :)

  3. I think the important thing is not to overdo it. There’s a big difference between: “We’re going to have a pool party so all the girls can get wet and the guys can get to know them deep inside.”


    “We’re having a pool party next weekend. It’ll be a lot of fun. Do you want to come? I hope you can. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it if you do.”

    If the girl’s already pervy she’ll definitely read something sexual into it without being able to specifically say you did it on purpose.

  4. Phil, you don’t get laid very often do you? This is stupid and creepy. It would never work on a woman you weren’t already sleeping with.

    • I don’t think so either. That’s why I was making fun of it. Because I’m a comedian. That’s what I do. And I’ve been with my girl for nearly 20 years. So no need for tricks.

  5. the hat trick ..

    when its raining .. You better come inside or you’ll be soaking wet cause its about start coming down hard, take off your jacket your dripping all over, heres a drinking just put in your mouth and swallow quick so youll free the warmth down deep.

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