5 Movie Ideas I Think I Can Sell To Hollywood

From what I know about pitching a movie to a studio, you should have a concise 2-3 sentence summary of what the movie is about.  The dialogue and script can come later.  Maybe.  When you’re dealing with a world of mash-ups, reboots, and obscene product placement, things like dialogue and character development aren’t always at the top of the list.

The Arachnid Nortenos will be all up in your spam blog’s grill…

1. Hector Juarez is a mild mannered janitor at a Silicon Valley tech company when he is mysteriously sucked into the search engine programming to become a search engine spider in charge of cleaning out spam blogs.  Throughout his journey he realizes that his terrifying new digital life is really just as mundane and boring as his old one.

2. A sassy overweight African-American woman makes a bet with her best friend that she can bed more nerdy white boys than her friend in a two week period.  In order to be around nerdy white boys to fondle, she sneaks in and starts attending an ivy league university.  Finding a hitherto unknown natural talent for chaos theory and particle physics she accidentally proves string theory to be fact.  After 90 minutes she nails 30 white boys and wins the bet.

Bitch, I will CUT you!

3. A race of alien hippopotami attack a small town in western Arkansas.  Things explode.  Come on, do you really need more than that?  Hungry Hungry Hippos, man.

4. Denzel Washington plays an intense, earnest man trying to do the right thing while outside forces compel him to make a moral judgment.  And he has a gun.  The title is “Denzel Washington plays an intense, earnest man trying to do the right thing while outside forces compel him to make a moral judgment.  And he has a gun.”

5. A quirky midwestern family owns the last video arcade in town.  They include a clueless curmudgeon of a father, a spunky rebellious daughter, a half wit younger son with a habit of chewing on things, and a sassy mother who’s the brains behind a multimillion dollar embezzling scam.  They are attacked by an alien race of hippopotami.  Sequels, bitches.

Phil Johnson
http://www.RoadsideAttraction.com


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